I have been planning my own death for a few weeks now. Carefully deciding which method is best. I think I have the perfect solution now.
There have been several reasons to lead up to this decision. The main one I want to share with you and you may judge me but I hope this will at least change someone’s mind along the way. Instead of spending Christmas by myself I should have been celebrating the my child would be born on February 2nd, 2012. But this past June I chose to have an abortion because I was not happy at that moment in my relationship and none of my family wanted me to be with him or have his child.
I died that day. I have no hope left. I hope someone else will learn from this. I have done a horrible thing and I deserve to die.
5 comments
I don’t even know how I found this site but I just made this profile for you. Please don’t think you deserve to die, you have no idea what the future might hold for you. Abortion is a touchy subject for some but I think even the prolifers would be against you taking your own life. By what you said you obviously have a family, think of what your actions are gonna put those around you through…..the news of you passing then the funeral and all the grief and tears. Your actions now will have long standing effects on every person you know, even people you probly haven’t even thought of in a long time. You might go on to meet a different guy and have 10 kids who knows ??? I don’t even know you and I care…..so think before you act
You’re speaking emotionally but not rationally. It was a zygote or a fetus. It was unaware of its existence the same way my hair is unaware of its existence. Also, it’s incapable of feeling pain. The result is the same as if it had never been conceived. You however are a conscious, living, breathing individual. What you did wasn’t wrong in the least. Nothing was harmed, but what you’re thinking about doing could hurt a lot of people close to you.
I’m sorry that you’ve been put through this. Perhaps it might help to remember that you didn’t make that decision lightly – but I doubt it. Something like that can’t be gotten over. Regardless of what others may think, you lost a child. You’ll feel that loss. It’s only natural.
You may have made a mistake but it wasn’t deliberate and now you know that, at the end of the day, you can’t let others make such decisions for you. YOU have to live with the consequences, not anyone else.
It’s your choice as to what to do – live with it and try and learn from it or give up and die. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
FIrstly you sound deeply depressed. No kidding right? But what I mean is your serotonin levels are probably super low. Have you tried seeing a doctor for medications? Anti depressants have come a long way in helping people with depression. You do not deserve to die. You could use someone to talk to who does not judge you. YOu’re being so hard on yourself. Please give at least another year before you do this. Please.
Janie,
Life never stays the same and deaths of close ones, be they partners or children is always extremely tough. watch the news nightly and you will see devastation around the world every single day.
That said, you are not alone and nor will you be the last person to have an abortion, but nor will you be the first person to get their life back together and on track again either. As i know you will ..
Stay strong and positive.