Hello to all. Well, as I stated yesterday, my finances are a disaster. Case in point, I was woken this morning by an officer w/a summons. I am being sued for over $12,000 for a surgery I needed back in May. No, I did not make payments after the initial $1,500 that had to be paid in order to have the surgery. It is everything I can do to stay afloat. I am paying what I can on my back child support to keep them from garnishing my wages. (I bring home $226 a week) I also found out in August that I had my neck issues (herniated disks via a $1700 MRI), at which point I officially decided “f*** it” as far as even trying to make payments on such daunting bills…
I, will never ever be financially stable. Retirement? I have nothing.
I’m going through all the feasible options to keep going. I very truly want to go…but when I do, I want the ppl in my life (very few, and I’m not close to family–“black sheep”) to know that I at least TRIED, versus impulsively made the hasty decision. I do struggle with the thought of leaving my grandchild, but I really don’t want her to see my emotional turmoil, either!
Well, as part of my continued effort to keep going, I am beginning therapy again today. No way in hell will I mention my future intentions. Not only can’t I afford any more future medical bills (by being committed), I staunchly refuse to be. The psych ward, especially in my town, is worthless. Anyway, til later-J
4 comments
I think it’s good you are going to therapy, maybe it will help. You may be able to declare bankruptcy to get rid of the financial problems. I’d wait to do that until you get all your medical procedures done though so that you can get rid of all the bills.
I understand why you want to leave the message that you tried to do the decent and honourable thing; it it important your loved ones understand you have been driven to a last resort, not through your own failures, but by a deeply unfair, uncaring and mercenary system which seeks to exploit human misery and sickness for profit.
Many of us could be saved or could save ourselves if the world was ordered a little differently.
The only thing that the medical “sciences” can do for you is to sell you an ear. 😀 If simply talking to (rather at) people doesn’t help you, then it really is just a waste of time and resources. “Doctors”…pfff…they are about as scientific as tarot card readers 😀
yes, causeway…u hit the nail on the head.
irspow–how how I agree with you…After being in therapy since my adolescent years, (and having studied the social sciences myself, blah)-I know the drill. The “re-framing thinking”, the “right” coping mechanisms, etc.etc.etc. But I went with an open heart and open mind. New therapist I saw is replacing a previous one who is on medical leave after undergoing a severe stroke.
The punch line is that, AFTER, our session, this therapist-and I quote-“Well there is something I have to tell you. This is so very awkward. But I currently commute from Pratt. Well, I’ve recently discovered a position open over there, so I am going to make my office over there my primary office. Now I can still see you, but realistically, it would be only about once a month.”
I kindly, with a chuckle (to lighten the situation), replied, “I really wish you would have told me at the beginning of this session!”
WHAT A JOKE Another case of laughing at a discouraging situation vs crying.