If I like my body. If it really has any real use to me. Sure, I’m attractive.. At least that’s what people tell me. I’m thin but muscular and I’ve recently bleached my hair blonde.. Every contour of my body drives the men crazy… But is that it’s only use?
Is the purpose of my body to please others? Because it certainly doesn’t seem to please me. All I see are the scars.. All I feel is the feeling that my body is giving up. I don’t feed it properly.. I don’t necessarily take care of it. I smoke cigarettes and fill it up with drugs until it requires them to function, yet they continue to weaken me. It’s a vicious cycle.
A lot of the time, I only really eat because I feel sick. I figure it will make me feel better. Sometimes it doesn’t, so sometimes I don’t even bother.
Sometimes I’ll just get high and forget to eat. For days. In my last singe of MDMA, I barely ate for days. In one day I might have eaten three things, and that was more than I had the two days before.
So if I abuse my body so much, what’s the point in having it? I’d obviously have to hate it to do those things to it.. Right?
5 comments
Hey Ms Epihany,
Noo “your body” isn’t designed to just please others, but rather carry you through this Kaleidoscopic universe.
Maybe you do hate your body, but that isn’t a solution to life, or at least a better one.
Think of your mind like a computer – it stores stuff (namely thoughts, made up of memories, imagination), garbage in, garbage out. The best computers in the world can be infected with a virus and suddenly not function properly; the human mind is actually no different and sadly, many people have poor quality thoughts or thinking, often they receive from others whether directly or inadvertently.
Like all problems in life, you have to find te root ‘thought’ whch is the cause. Some people, don’t think they are pretty or smart or sociable because too anxious, etc.
I’m pretty practical, so i try focus on things, that will help minimize problematic thinking by replacing it with better thinking.
Remember this, it takes honesty and courage to admit ones flaws, weakness, but thats often the first step to addressing them also.
You aren’t your body, rather you are your “collection of thoughts” (past/present/future), so improve these as they can affect your body/health accordingly.
Stay well miss and i hope you genuinely have a nice or even ‘ok’ holiday period. It dosn’t have to always be exciting etc. Normal is good too, trust me.
Stay good
A..
That’s a great post, adastra.
hey, so the abuse.. if you ever need someone to talk to about that hit me up.. Ive had abouse sense i was about five or seven till now.. Boys do think and only like us for are bodys. I didnt make my self stop eating but i did cut… Alot.. and like your saying why should we care. Well one thing i learned about when i was put in a hosptil was you need to respect your self to learn that saying no to boys and stoping the abouse is possible… Im still working on that hard core. I probably about five mins ago had a mental break down. But i got lifted right back up because of peoples comements. On reason to live and junk.. But hey if you do want some tips or some one to talk to. i would forsure love someone to help me and talk to me about it.. because its always easier if u find someone going through the same stuff as you to ttalk about it…
so yeah anytime hit me up
Schneiderang, if you would like, feel free to text me sometime.
613 322 7738
Thx causeway.
But sorry Epiphany & Scheider, i disagree. I am male and and nor do most of my friends think of women ONLY for their bodies. You couldn’t be more wrong.
Don’t let a few bad people cloud your enture existence or perspective about all males. it’s like saying, this one girl dumped me, hence ALL girls are bad? Are they?
Or saying this one guy raped me, all guys are rapists?
Do men appreciate the female form? Off course they do, but what keeps people together is not each others bodies but rather whether both are travelling in the same direction in life and likeminded. ie partners if you will.
Definitely don’t let bad people walk over you nor impact on you negatively with their poor thoughts. Don’t let THEIR POOR THOUGHTS become your poor thoughts, as it seems may be the case.
Abuse, especially child abuse is unforgivable, because it’s taking someone weaker and less developed then you and abusing that.
That said, you can stay and live in your past memories or you can try and start to “create” new more positive memories. Just look for decent caring people, not arseholes, there is plenty of them around so make good choices.
As a male, i would be more then happy to offer another perspective, then the males u have been around.
if you want to chat, i am happy to do so. email is add my handle name to 389@gmail.com
Stay well and take care in the meantime.