You Wouldn’t Care if I Died

  December 4th, 2011 by littloo1

I have had many thoughts on killing myself and many tries. On the outside it seems as if i have to perfect life. Parents that love me, a sister who is there for me and a brother who fights for our country. No, the real inside thing is i have  divorced  parents who hate each other so much they don’t even talk to each other about whats wrong with me. A sister who thinks i cutt and think about suicide for attention.  A brother who left me to deal with my whole family by myself.  I have begged for help. Told them about my cutting. Yet everyday i get the urge to just say fuck it and fuck them and leave. I get told i am selfish for wanting to die. I can’t help how i feel. Being an anxiety person like i am, i freak out about a lot.  When i was younger i use to give myself anxiety attacks just because i was scared i would turn out to be an alcoholic like my mother.  Throughout my whole life i have been forced to grow up  and know exactly what i want. All my life i have had to be there for people. Now its there time to be there for me…

No point in living, hard to just get up in the morning, having no one who understands how you feel. I broke my arm severely when i was 9 and thats when i found out i was severely depressed by my therapist.  Everyone thought this was an accident, little did they know..

Processing your request, Please wait....