I’m not going to go into much detail again..if you want to see the last time I posted..it was February 2010, titled, “No longer” I believe..anywho, I’ll be 19 in about two and half weeks…I feel like I’ve tried as hard as I can, things got better since my last post, but…I’ve come to the realization I have nothing to live for; I care for nothing, no one..I am completely and utterly numb.
I have ~15 days before my father kicks me out of the house because I’m a failure and accomplish nothing..but it doesn’t phase me. Why? Because I don’t care. Why don’t I care? I don’t know. All I can ever think of is “Why?” to everything..Why get a job? Why go to college? Why continue trying in a world that means nothing to me?
This world..is boring. Nothing entertains me except losing my mind in stories, such as shows or games..and only because I’m dreaming of being there. I hate everything about this world..nothing I ever do is right, and I don’t even care anymore. I’ve let everyone down, and no one is proud of me..but I don’t care. I care for no one, even my family; like I said before.
I’m unsure of what else to mention..I don’t see a point in hanging on to a dying, pointless world that only brings me pain.
EDIT : Also, a few of my previous comments and such are irrelevant to me nowadays, and some are still the same.
9 comments
intentional community <———— try it out
Just looked at it a bit..interesting, I suppose.
im joining 1, a village up in the mountain, offgrid, away from society, barely any electricity, grow your own food, fruits and vegetable… work/chores.. iono.. it’s my escape,
“Why get a job? Why go to college? Why continue trying in a world that means nothing to me?”
“This world..is boring. Nothing entertains me except losing my mind in stories, such as shows or games.”
Words could have come from myself.
@X-boy …. lived off the grid naturally for 2 years. Still did not make me want to stay in the world. A whole other set of issues. I just no longer see the reason for putting forth effort just for a chance.
Hopefully it works for you and anyone else though.
lolz correction
correctiob “Why continue working a job? Why did I go to college multiple times?”
Are you me?
Glad to know I’m not the only one who think’s these thoughts. Talked to my best friend (and only friend I actually care to talk to), and he said he doesn’t want me to commit suicide, I’m the only person he cares for, for whatever reason, and he wants to live together very soon..I mean..the thought of that is definitely better than this, but..it’s still this world. Why?
Our purpose in life is to help people. You will be helping noone this way. What’s the point of going to college? To make a better life for yourself.