I’m just a bastard child don’t let it go to your head I’m just a waste of your time, maybe I’m better off dead They turn us loose in the night, I’m fucking Jekyll and Hyde We’ll have the time of our lives although we’re dying inside….

so…. Today I stayed with behind to talk to Mr Gregory, a popular venting choice of mine.
Anyways I told him about being suicidal and my intended plans…. Naturally he told me not to do it, and he went through what might happen once I had gone through with my plans.
Why does everything he says always makes perfect sense….
I still feel like going through with it, i only know a few things about my final choices.
Date: Monday 23rd January 2012 .
Time: I don’t know….
Method: Again, I don’t know….
I just know that I want this all to be over, I will spend my last day with my friends, basically no talking to teachers or others that may depress my final hours…. I will distribute the necessary suicide letters to those who I see deserve one final goodbye, afterschool I will enjoy my final walk home, taking in all of the scenery and the little primary school children that will run past me, a slight pang of jealousy will run through my veins, as I usually do on a normal day. When I reach home I will enjoy my final cup of coffee and will then call my sister in law, say goodbye to her, my brother and my dearly loved nephew, I would want to be able to hug and kiss him but that will probably not be possible, after that I will call my dad. My amazing loving father who I love now and forever. Eventually I will make my final move, my main family letter will be left in an obviously noticeable And safe place, and then the end.

I’d like to think that I’m not scared, but I am. I also know that once it’s done then that’s it, no more pain or cold bleak emptiness.

Also, the last thing that Mr Gregory said to me today was….’see you tomorrow’
He is so clever, he knows that by saying those words to me that I have to do it, so even though I wasn’t planning anything tonight, now I can’t, because I have to be able to see him tomorrow…. Such a clever man…..

<3