it all started in 6th grade. i was bullied, my grandpa died, and other stupid stuff. im now in 8th grade, and i have strongly considered suicide around 11 times. couldnt God give me a break?!!?!?!? im only 14!!!!!!!!!! when your heart just feels so overwhelmed that you cant bare it any longer. i put a smile on my face everyday at school. thats just not something you want people to go around knowing. i got two really close friends. i just always felt guilty, them thinking they knew me, but they didn’t at all. they thought i was always happy and bubbly. guilt built up inside of me. pressure from suicide, over busy schedule, hw, i just had to tell them! i needed someone i could talk too. after i did, they never really look at you the same. they’re always scared that it may be any day, and since they dont understand, they see me like a monster. my heart has swelled up so much from suicidal emotions, my heart feels like there’s a knife in it. twisting, twisting. one day, im just going to give up. medicine has no effect. im beyond hope. a fail.
5 comments
your so young. Go see an gudience counsler or a terpist. Tell someone anyone really :c they might help you
8th grade, im twelve. i know what you mean by busy schedule and freaking out so you tell your friends. i’m so glad that im not the only one that started young…but at the same time im distraught. someday, out of the blue, someone will find you that you wouldn’t expect at all to help. lol, the person that helped me (and currently still is) is a sex obsessed gay guy that i hated last year. so you never know. someone will help
I’m actually in 8th grade myself and for me it all started in 5th grade so yea.tge whole friends and school thing I get it and it sucks.you think they would understand turns out they don’t find someone who knows how it feels it’s what I did 🙂
im also in grade 8.. ive been bullied since pree school.. at an age of 13 all i had was drugs , sex a razor blade and a hope of love.. when i was raped.. i vowed knobody could ever know.. because i wud lose all i loved.. i kept it all inside for months.. it blew up in my face and i had an anxiety attack… the hardest part is to open up and tell anybody.. but please know this.. knobody is ever in it alone .. were all people we all have feelings everyones life sucks… it always will .. things wond get better.. thell just change.. we have to all acept our reality.. because its all we have .. realizing who we are … and letting it out is ok.. crying wont solve anyhting but atleast its letting go.. if we dont all come out with the true us .. well will never know who anyone is.. your close friend may kill themselves and youll never see it comming … by letting go of you .. your helping them let go of themelves
I’m 14 too. I get what you mean, life can be hard sometimes and yeah telling somebody who never considered suicide before or at least knew someone who did, is a bad idea. I mean how can they understand it if they never felt it before? I think that you should try to find somebody who understands, it’s always easier knowing that you’re not alone and you definitely aren’t, pretty much everybody no this site are feeling like that too.