I started to get Sexually abuse at the age of 3-10.  Well I’m 13 right now. Well I remember snap Shots of when I was 3 ! I don’t remmeber everything. I would go over my auntie house because she would baby sit me while my mom was at work. I just remember my cousin taking my dolls and me crying and he would say “You would half to do this in order to Get your doll back”. Which my cousin was 12 or 13 at the time and I was 3 . He molested  me lots of times as I can remember.He would tell me to give him oral and he would try to anal me but he couldn’t go to deep inside  because I was to Tight. He Sexually abused me all the way up too I was 3-5. Then my mom stop dropping me off over there because I went to KG .My big brothers had some friends when I was 6 and They friends was 13 , 14 , and 15. My Brothers was 12 at the time. One of my brothers secretly molest me. He would tell me to oral him and he would try to anal me to.  In yeah I did the things my cousin and my brother told me to do. My brothers ,13 , 14 , and 15 year old friends sexually abused me. My mom would let my brothers watch me while I played outside and their friends would take me to the basement when nobody but me and my sister was around and make me oral them and they would touch me.  They would try too anal me too but my sister couldn’t do that much she wasn’t that older then me but she would make it seem like I was gone get in trouble if i told my mother  and that everything was my fault . It was like I was her pupet. She would say do this are I would tell mom so I did whatever she told me to do and one time she told one of my brothers  friend to do something to me that was heartbreaking  . My brother molested me till I was 5-10 and their friends was molesting  me till  5-7.  My brother friends  eventually stop when we moved but my brother was still molesting me because we lived in the same house. Well my big brother would sexually abused me and then give me candy and chips afterwards but I didn’t like the sexual abuse. My brother tried to sexual abuse me again when I was in fourth grade but I said no ! It felt good saying NO for the first time . After that he was being mean to me for some days. I eventually felt ashamed and thought that everything was my fault. I was so sad about it but then eventually the pain went away and I stop thinking about it and then it would sneak back up on me when somebody talked about sex. I Always did things for attention and always tried to be a bad kid. I drink , smoked , and had problems in school. Oneday a special lady ask me why i act the way I act. She ask me was im sad about anything? I denied! until oneday we talked on the phone and I told her everything. She was shocked but at the same time sad for me but I never told nobody about my brother, because I’m to ashamed. I only told this one special lady about my cousin molesting me but I never told anybody else. My mom and my siblings just found out about the people and my neighborhood molesting me months ago. My brother told me sorry and he said please don’t tell mom because he said he don’t people to think of him as a bad person. They found out because I wrote a letter to myself about my brothers friends and it droped  out of  my purse at school and they called my mom. Everything got worse because she tried to press charges on the people that abuse me but I didn’t want to because I was too scared!!!!! They told a social worker and she was about to hotline it until I denied everything. My Sis denied that she was even there and she still talks bad about me by calling me nasty. Well I was tired of everything already and I got kicked out of school so I took alot of pills and tired to commit suicide so I almost OD. I was sick for 1 week. I was throwing up and had a upset stomach!!! Well I’ll never do that again because now I know how valuable life is now.  Well I hate counseling because I don’t want to be known for being crazy and I hate talking about me getting sexual abused . I guess i’ll never Heal. ! Well now I’m Still drinking, smoking , and now Im having sex. Well can anybody give me any advise please. I’m a young girl looking for answers
7 comments
Hey, girl.. I know what your going through.. I was touched as a little girl two. And its impacted me so much…And ever sense then ive had sex problems. But i wanted to tell your not alone… and hun… Ill be honest life doesnt get easier when you go through sex and stuff at a young age. But it does ge tbetter if you let it… If you need anything question advise someone to talk to … Emil me okay… schneiderang@apsfalcons.net i would be happy to talk to you
Thanksss . !
Hey tear drop. While I can’t say I have had any experience of the sort nor can I say I have any clue how you may be feeling. One similarity is I feel I will never heal. I will suggest a few things that may be hard but I definitely would say if you want to make the best of these tragic events to do your best to follow them. First and foremost stop everything from drinking to smoking and even sex, continuing these will make you lose control and spire into self destruction even further, where you may never get out. While these may seem to get rid of the pain currently, it won’t do anything for you In the long run. And im to assume that by you telling us of these tragic events you want the pain to go away or may want someone to talk to, and these are the first steps required to keep going strong. Tell me, what do you see yourself as In a few years, but also tell me what you want to be like in a few years. If you do indeed want someone to talk to just let me know as well. Sorry if this isn’t as helpful as you’d like, but if you reply to this, or tell me a bit more as I asked above I will give more suggestions.
I wet threw the exact same thing except mine was 5-10 and my cousins and there dad would molest me and my brothers and sisters wee in on it too and they would make me have sex with the kids in our nighborhood for a quarter i felt so nasty and ashamed of myself and when i turned 16 i finaly let a boy into my lide and he tok advantage of my i wouldnt say he raped me but he manipulated me into haveing sex with him and everyte we did it i would feel so nasty and i woild go home and cry all night my mom she new about what happened but she didnt know the full story she didnt know that i was being forced to do this stuff.but anyways i shared my stiry with this lady that worked at this behavirolcenter that i was in and she charted it and thats how everybody found oout i never went into detail with anyone they just knw that i as sexualy abusd and they know whi did it
Wow…I have great empathy for you guys having to experience that. Know that really weak people would do that to another especially against their will.
There will come a time when they will be held accountable for their actions.
But for you guys to move on, I hope you use the experience to catapult you forward. It happened and it wasn’t cool at all. I hope you will find the way to move on, and understand none of it was your fault and your worthy of real, unconditional love and appreciation. I encourage you to give that to yourself from within as much and as often as possible. You deserve it big time. Take care.
Thanks Too All Of Yal , ! 🙂 . . . . . . This eally put a smile on my face . .
🙂 that’s great, just remember we’re here for you! Vent everything and anything you want here :).