Throughout my whole life, there has always seemed to be one way to describe my existence. Surviving. The first ten years of our lives, we are taught to explore the world. To find knowledge, and learn how things work…to understand just how beautiful the gift of life is. But all the second half of my life has brought is death. lonliness. pain. It has been so long since I’ve been happy with the way I am. I see the world in a new light now. But the sad part is, all that is really left is darkness. Is there anyone left who can show me something new? That there are still connections to be made, and more than to this life than just pain and sorrow? My family can’t. My friends have changed; we don’t even know each other anymore. Is it something I can never really feel? Or have I just not met the stranger yet who can change this life of mine?
12 comments
12 comments
travel, poetry, reading, bungee jumping, and hiking. these things can make you elated
I guess you can’t rely on some exotic stranger to show you these things. And you can’t expect one grand melodramatic gesture to make up for all the shit. Take smaller steps and smell the roses along the way
im committing suicide tonight i hope you have a better life
All i can say is your life isnt fixed by your past nor present. Humans are gifted with imagination to dream/invent never perfect, but def better futures.
You ‘actually’ sound like a really switched on person with high awareness.
Friends do come and go yep, that is life, but good friends less so. Id rather have 2 really good friends vs 10 pretty average friends.
And as for meeting ‘astranger’, very unlikely sorry, rather you will eet many many strangers 🙂 But maybe a few can become vg friends or maybe even more.
In the beginning, everyone is a stranger, its by giving people opportunitinies, letting them in, but also keeping our eyes /minds open do we meet others.
Life will also have some degree of pain. That is normal and so are you. They key is to balalnce it with many more positive times and importantly positive thoughst that things can and will get better.
Stay well in the meantime.
Ad Astra Per Aspera
Dont also wait for others to chnage your life … rather you should start at least planning to chnage it …via school, work, travel, going out, friends, etc …
@Shockey: I know what u mean..the second half of life, or the often so-called “adult life” suddenly only merely becoming a survival kind,.but u KNOW that there’s MORE to life than just merely only surviving.
@adastra is right: u are a person with such High Awareness.
And believe it or not, it’s people like u who’ll make Progress to the world, even just some sparks of Change.
To merely surviving means u’re not really Living…just Existing.
But u KNOW human beings are more than that.
So don’t stop.
Keep seeking what’s u want to seek.
If it’s Knowledge, then so be it. keep on seeking,.no matter what.
Use Internet, it’s one of the greatest invention in mankind’s history.
Don’t conform to the System and society, society is messed-up anyway. Majority is not always right.
Seek knowledge, and better, use ur knowledge to make a Change, even if it’s small steps…everything always started from the first step anyway..and then see how it’ll grow.
I know, because I’m also like u,.so I can relate much.
ur a good soul niki 🙂
@adastra: thank you,.but as u probably also know, it’s hard to live as one in this often ignorant and simple-minded ‘follower/sheeple’ society/humanity condition nowadays..don’t u think so?
I can actually see why there were many suicidal “good souls” thorough mankind’s history, especially in this so-called ‘modern’ society.. We have become too numbed, nulled, trapped, and enslaved,.without most people know (nor WANT to know/find out) about it.
This is why I’m determined to seek out the Truth,
the Truth beyond all the things that caused today’s ‘sick, numbed’ society.
I believe human beings have much MORE potentials and capabilities than the current ‘enslaved’ condition (by the System, the Elites, the Powers-That-Be, etc)….such a pity, really.
we need to find solutions for this, if humanity wants to have a glimpse of HOPE anymore.
Thank you both, really. I guess sometimes it’s just hard to take myself out of everything and just strive to move forward. I’m studying to be a nurse…i’m really close and I think that I can make a change.
I just can’t helpt but lose sight sometimes. It’s nice to know there are other people who can relate. It means alot.
People become more involved with there own lives….that’s a good thing for them. But sometimes we feel left behind and wish that they would recognize us too. I don’t feel bad for what others have. I feel bad for what I don’t have. I did my years of discovery and now I am where I am. I live in darkness…I live alone….a lot of it my own choosing because I feel this is how it should be. I hope you find that stranger that can show you new things. I wish a stranger would pop up in my life really really soon.