Well recently I’ve been cutting a lot more than usual. Everyday I get bullied at school because of my weight. All of my friends have left me they think I’m a psychopath . And my best friend just commited suicide ..
I was just diagnosed with bipolar and some how my entire school found out , no one likes me anymore. I don’t usually eat anymore because of how fat I am ,I only weigh 130 but I feel like 300. I may end up starving myself
I can dig it. Check this. I first lost my brother to AIDS. Died a horrible, air-gasping death. Then my oldest brother died from an overdose (he had AIDS too from sharing the same dirty needle, but managed to live a bit longer). Then I lost my mother from a sudden heart attack. She called me the night before, but I was too fucking busy to pick up the phone. I was busy yelling at my kid for some stupid ass reason that doesn’t mean shit now. 5 months after she died, I got to watch my father die in the hospital from his 14 year long lung cancer battle. I stayed in the hospital with him for a fucking week, sleeping in the same room, doing whatever I could for him. I wanted to be there when he died. Then, I got hungry and went for breakfast. THAT’S when he decided to kick the bucket. Nice….
So I suffer from guilt for not being there at the moment ANY of them died, even though I wanted to. I feel horrible guilt from brushing my mom’s last call to me off, and for being selfish enough to go eat while my dad coughed up his last life blood.
I have one brother left who’s a hopeless alcoholic….dying from liver disease and the start of cancer. I haven’t spoken with him for a long time.
It sucks, because you wonder, why the fuck are you the one still left alive?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you though. You’re just loving too much and feeling the pain when they’re gone.
And the eating thing? Yep, I get that too. Eating helps me feel good. Except, with the addictive personality that my entire family has, I’ve had to fight that. Not to starve myself, but to not give too much power to food. Oh and I live with a bi-polar wife who did some really fucked up shit to me. So, I live with the flip side of bi-polar. Again, I reiterate, I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with you. You just are, just like I just am. We were built this way, with tendencies, but those can change. In fact they do change all the time. Every second of the day.
yes u can it is fairly easy…
Just observe your thoughts when your mind thinks something it is not in service to yourself change it… stop being such a wuss
im not mean i care for you… it seems that you dont care about yourself…
life is hard if u wanna be here on this planet that do something for yourself…
it is never black & white… always in the middle
These people that bully you are just cowards. I was bullied too when I was your age because I was different and represented the things I believed in. I never made friends with people just to fit in. I was actually quite cool and no one could understand why I was a member of the chess club, used to sit on my own at lunch, hang around with geeks nag get into fights. Even now I go to the pub on my own. With me I can’t always see who my enemy is and it’s not as straight forward as a fight because some people in this world are so evil they are just sneaky and sneidy. They pretend to be your friend and play tricks on you and you don’t even know about it. At least your bullies have showed you their true face and now you can deal with them. Nick Griffin of the BNP has his beliefs. Maybe he appeals to extremists so that the membership fee can pay for his new BMW or new cottage in the Country. Yet we all know what his views are and we can deal with him. At least he is honest even if I do not agree with everything he says and I understand he is fundamentally wrong. I have a choice. But a truely evil person does not give you that choice. Who is the more evil, someone who loses control once, kills someone and is serving a 30 year sentence or the people who systematically drive others to suicide. What they do is not illegal yet they live each day with complete impunity. I for one know the answer to that question. It is now up to the people on this site whether they will join me and fight or allow these jealous, pathetic little shits who feed off our misery to win. I for one don’t like losing.
But if I was a 13 yr old girl and I can’t believe I said that I would value the things that made me different. Why conform to what a bunch of idiots think is acceptable. What do they know. In the real world they wouldn’t physically attack you because they would 1) be arrested and one day in prison would kill these pathetic idiots and 2) you are free to go where you want. It is only in school they think they have some power over you.
Yeah let them play their little mind games. That’s all they are good for. No one in the real world really wants to know them.
There’s about 20 in total and they usually make fun of me . One time this group of about 3 boys teamed up on me and starte touching all over my body. I got so scared and one started unzipping his pants while his friends pinned me to the wall . They made me kiss this one boy and I had to touch the other boys dick , I finally got away and started running. The didn’t come after me. Another incident was this group of girls in the locker room went through my locker looking at the clothing sizes , making fun of me. Tellin me how fat I was calling me fatass, ***** and pig. They made me cry
What the boys did was illegal and is sexual assault. Report them and then everyone will know what they really are.
Tell your parents you want to move school.
I know it is hard because when you report to police/teachers and nothing happens it can make things worse.
Yeah, I recommend finding a better school. If anyone challenges you dig your heels in. Give them my email address or me theirs and I will sort them out for you.
You know those girls who made you cry. Well if I was you they would be the ones crying for sure. But I’m not so here’s the thing. They are nasty rotten girls and they will experience true suffering at some point in their lives. What goes around comes around.
If you simply refuse to step foot in the building again what are they going to do. Pick you up and force you. Tell your dad what happened. I’m sure he would refuse to even allow you to go. I would.
43 comments
That’s the question I ask myself all day every day. You’re not alone.
Tell us more what happened
Well recently I’ve been cutting a lot more than usual. Everyday I get bullied at school because of my weight. All of my friends have left me they think I’m a psychopath . And my best friend just commited suicide ..
I was just diagnosed with bipolar and some how my entire school found out , no one likes me anymore. I don’t usually eat anymore because of how fat I am ,I only weigh 130 but I feel like 300. I may end up starving myself
I can dig it. Check this. I first lost my brother to AIDS. Died a horrible, air-gasping death. Then my oldest brother died from an overdose (he had AIDS too from sharing the same dirty needle, but managed to live a bit longer). Then I lost my mother from a sudden heart attack. She called me the night before, but I was too fucking busy to pick up the phone. I was busy yelling at my kid for some stupid ass reason that doesn’t mean shit now. 5 months after she died, I got to watch my father die in the hospital from his 14 year long lung cancer battle. I stayed in the hospital with him for a fucking week, sleeping in the same room, doing whatever I could for him. I wanted to be there when he died. Then, I got hungry and went for breakfast. THAT’S when he decided to kick the bucket. Nice….
So I suffer from guilt for not being there at the moment ANY of them died, even though I wanted to. I feel horrible guilt from brushing my mom’s last call to me off, and for being selfish enough to go eat while my dad coughed up his last life blood.
I have one brother left who’s a hopeless alcoholic….dying from liver disease and the start of cancer. I haven’t spoken with him for a long time.
It sucks, because you wonder, why the fuck are you the one still left alive?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you though. You’re just loving too much and feeling the pain when they’re gone.
And the eating thing? Yep, I get that too. Eating helps me feel good. Except, with the addictive personality that my entire family has, I’ve had to fight that. Not to starve myself, but to not give too much power to food. Oh and I live with a bi-polar wife who did some really fucked up shit to me. So, I live with the flip side of bi-polar. Again, I reiterate, I don’t think there’s anything “wrong” with you. You just are, just like I just am. We were built this way, with tendencies, but those can change. In fact they do change all the time. Every second of the day.
Sorry for your friend, doent really matter if ur fat what matters is your perception of yourself… You will find someone who will like you, i like you…
No one likes me I don’t deserve friends I don’t deserve life .
you are alive no? therefore u deserve life, beauty is not outside it is within you… hold on man, stay strong…
I can’t stay strong anymore I need to leave and stop being a burden on my family.
i cant stop do what you have to do…
What do you mean?
my grammar mistake what i meant to say i cant stop YOU do what you have to do…
I really shouldn’t die…. I have done nothing wrong , but I always feel like I’m ruining people’s live’s
then dont kill yourself…
why do you feel that?
you know that all are responsible for there own lives…
You cant ruin anyone only yourself… be smart
I still do ruin lives, that’s why I’ll never have some one to love.
bacause u made yourself belive that…
You need to change your attitude like ASAP
I can’t change my attitude and I know I’ll never find some one.
yes u can it is fairly easy…
Just observe your thoughts when your mind thinks something it is not in service to yourself change it… stop being such a wuss
Don’t call me a wuss
ur acting like one…
toughen up
How can I? Please stop being mean
im not mean i care for you… it seems that you dont care about yourself…
life is hard if u wanna be here on this planet that do something for yourself…
it is never black & white… always in the middle
Why would you care for me? Not even my parents do
because for me you are perfect… you just dont realise how beautiful you are
How am I perfect to you? And I am not beautiful , at all!
maybe not physically but i know that you are a soul so that is all i care about…
…………just, wow
if a complete stranger cares about you, imagine how much life cares about you
you think that life creates imperfection?
Think again…
Oh…
These people that bully you are just cowards. I was bullied too when I was your age because I was different and represented the things I believed in. I never made friends with people just to fit in. I was actually quite cool and no one could understand why I was a member of the chess club, used to sit on my own at lunch, hang around with geeks nag get into fights. Even now I go to the pub on my own. With me I can’t always see who my enemy is and it’s not as straight forward as a fight because some people in this world are so evil they are just sneaky and sneidy. They pretend to be your friend and play tricks on you and you don’t even know about it. At least your bullies have showed you their true face and now you can deal with them. Nick Griffin of the BNP has his beliefs. Maybe he appeals to extremists so that the membership fee can pay for his new BMW or new cottage in the Country. Yet we all know what his views are and we can deal with him. At least he is honest even if I do not agree with everything he says and I understand he is fundamentally wrong. I have a choice. But a truely evil person does not give you that choice. Who is the more evil, someone who loses control once, kills someone and is serving a 30 year sentence or the people who systematically drive others to suicide. What they do is not illegal yet they live each day with complete impunity. I for one know the answer to that question. It is now up to the people on this site whether they will join me and fight or allow these jealous, pathetic little shits who feed off our misery to win. I for one don’t like losing.
Well I’m guessing your not a 12 almost 13 year old girl?
No I’m a man and over twice your age.
But if I was a 13 yr old girl and I can’t believe I said that I would value the things that made me different. Why conform to what a bunch of idiots think is acceptable. What do they know. In the real world they wouldn’t physically attack you because they would 1) be arrested and one day in prison would kill these pathetic idiots and 2) you are free to go where you want. It is only in school they think they have some power over you.
Yeah let them play their little mind games. That’s all they are good for. No one in the real world really wants to know them.
It’s not only school , they follow me every where
How many of them are there andwhat do they do.
There’s about 20 in total and they usually make fun of me . One time this group of about 3 boys teamed up on me and starte touching all over my body. I got so scared and one started unzipping his pants while his friends pinned me to the wall . They made me kiss this one boy and I had to touch the other boys dick , I finally got away and started running. The didn’t come after me. Another incident was this group of girls in the locker room went through my locker looking at the clothing sizes , making fun of me. Tellin me how fat I was calling me fatass, ***** and pig. They made me cry
What the boys did was illegal and is sexual assault. Report them and then everyone will know what they really are.
Tell your parents you want to move school.
I know it is hard because when you report to police/teachers and nothing happens it can make things worse.
Yeah, I recommend finding a better school. If anyone challenges you dig your heels in. Give them my email address or me theirs and I will sort them out for you.
You know those girls who made you cry. Well if I was you they would be the ones crying for sure. But I’m not so here’s the thing. They are nasty rotten girls and they will experience true suffering at some point in their lives. What goes around comes around.
I can’t tell anyone , the boys said if I did they would rape me. I’m also not allowed to change schools
You must be allowed to change schools why not.
If you simply refuse to step foot in the building again what are they going to do. Pick you up and force you. Tell your dad what happened. I’m sure he would refuse to even allow you to go. I would.
I can’t tell my parents , I just can’t
Why, you have nothing to be ashamed of. They were kids too you know, even if it was a long time ago. What about older brothers and sisters.
Well right now i have to go , I promise I will be here later.
You think that they will just complain to the school and make things worse?
Ok, take care and don’t worry.