I recently moved to a new city. I left behind my friends, my family, my job of seven years….But I did so to go back to school, start a new career, and be closer to my girlfriend was an added bonus. When I got here everything was great. We talked like we always do shared and supported each other. Now….she barely wants to talk to me even though I have done nothing to merit this. I cook I clean I do laundry vacuum do dishes, so if you’re reading this and thinking oh he’s a guy he probably doesn’t do much to help, ya right my friend I probably do more than she does. I’m ok with that, I don’t mind at all. What gets to me is that I go above and beyond move change my entire life and mention to her that I’m upset that she’s giving me the cold shoulder and she can’t seem to grasp at all how under appreciated and depressed I feel because of her poor attitude all I do for her and all the changes I’ve made with her in mind.
Maybe I’m crazy, but this sucks and is making me want to go backwards. Back to bad thoughts, bad self image, cutting…. Trust me I don’t want that. Depression i think is the silent killer, it eats away my ability to do so much….
I don’t have friends here so I have no one to talk to. I found this website and I’m hoping it will help to at very least write things down. That way I’m not bottling it all inside waiting for it to explode.
I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day
14 comments
Hello, you have to talk to her man, seriously you cant let the little things snowball.
Mabey she tough you guys living togeather would be different, mabey she thinks your allways around and mabey she is used to having alone time…. as you can see i am making wild conjectors, buts all you can do to.
Sit her down and ask her everything is alright, tell her want her to be happy and if anything is bothering her she can tell you.
I know this seems obivious but naturally avoid confrontation, it scares us.
Talk to her not to us, stop procrastinating. TALK TO HER ABOUT IT.
Im not saying your not welcome, because you are.
i just hope all works out for you bud. Let us know!
That’s the thing I have sat her down and talked about my feelings and concerns. She just ignores me for the most part. The one night I did finally get her to talk to me she told me her feelings and I’m thinking ok this is great we are communicating and fixing what needs to be fixed. Except I fixed the things she was bothered with, she didn’t even try
Ok, do you love her, because if you dont you may aswell cut your losses because if shes not trying then its a bad relationship, and a bad rel is really bad for you mental health.
Can you give more details? i would like to help… i am a crysis council, but i think i could have a go a relationship counciling.
Could she be pregnant??? Wemon do crazy things when there preggy….
She was my first love and ten years down the road I still love her and if it’s possible, even more. If she’s pregnant, oh wow this will be a long pregnancy. …. There is so much more to the story behind me and her and our pasts. I can say it would definitely make for an interesting read if someone were ever to write it down.
Without all the specifics,we fell in love with her in jr high. She moved away. Didn’t hear anything from her in years then we started dating long distance. Broke up because of distance. More time not talking. Met back up started talking in the summer back in a relationship with her. I do love her very much and it’s awesome when things are going well but when things are bad it’s like I’m a disease.
Im going offline now, but you can eamil me ay thelightinthedarknes @hotmail.com, without the space obviously. If you wana chat or something, I hope you can be happy man, if you love her then dont let her go!!!!!
Fair enough, and ps i love a good read, when i got the game of thrones i didnt sleep for three days, i love a good story.
If you too keep coming back to each other, she must feel safe with you, and no douth you with her.
You say when things are bad, what exactly do you mean, what does she do? what do you do? there must be a reason, i mean i know gals are crazy but they is usually logic to there madness.
Are the bad times only reacently or his it on and off ? plus eveyone has good and times, thats life.
Hard situation….
She may ave issues which are preventing her from fully putting as much into the relationship as you seem to be….
Part of it is working through the hard times and you are willing to do so
Usually I’d say cut her loose but since you seem to really deeply love her why not try couples counseling…. to see how or if you guys can fix things.
I am deeply In love with her. Maybe she needs adjusting after all we just moved in together.
Finally the penny drops, with me anyway, its allways different when you first move in togeather. You dont really know someone untill you live with them.
As my mother say”street angel, house devil”
You need to try and sit down with her again, it seems she is a tough nut to get open and talking, just keep at it.
A ha, do something rediculisy romantic for valentines week, make her see again why she loves you.
Ok now i really am leaving, I hope it works out for you mate.
Remember that happiness ant free, it was we would all be smiling. (not my words)
Would like to know how to get on..
Well maybe you two do need more time.
I do sincerely hope it works out.
Although my desire and days for companionship are long gone, it is nice to see a loving couple working things out.
Am I right in thinking that you basically moved in with her? If so, she’ll be set in her routine -seeing her friends etc- and probably hasn’t realised how much of a wrench it was for you to basically leave everything behind for her – or how alone you are without your friends nearby. It can be a hard thing to understand when you haven’t gone through it yourself. Try to keep talking to her. Try to make some friends of your own as well so that you’re not so dependant upon her for company. That’s all I can suggest. Sorry it’s not more help.
Good luck.
Good luck was appreciated. Now it’s more or less wishful thinking. We talked and for once recently she heard me out. She let me know she is having issues. We agreed to be there for each other the way best fiends are, and right now that may just be for the best. I have always felt hostile interactions are for people who can’t quite grasp a common means of thinking. Granted I am not exactly happy with this out ome, but it is far better than losing someone I hold very dear to me in the process.
I hope it all works out for you. Good luck.