everyone told me that being positive would help me through my recovery. everyone told me they would stay with me through thick and thin but they lied so now i’m starting to think that maybe they were just talking in their sleep. the problem for being positive is that there is nothing good about me specifically. i’m ugly, fat, and good for nothing. how am i supposed to be positive when these things are just the truth. and every day i wonder how much better death would be than living where no one even fucking cares and there’s not a single good characteristic about me. […]
Tag:
Self Image
Somebody needs to make a separate site for people who are depressed, can’t socially adapt or have issues with self-harm and negative self image. All these cries for attention are going to kill me before I kill myself.
I think ive cracked something, infact I know I have . As most people know men are extremely more likely to commit suicide than women. I read that 80% of suicides are men and 74% of the time it is white males.
I wonder how much this ratio has to do with the relationship between men and women sexually and love wise. black men are generally wanted more.
women are extremely personal in my experience and really quite unforgiving on the large.
They dont really give mankind much (no offence) obviously this is a generalisation, but women are usually difficult to please and for men suffering and in bad places they really do have […]
I want to die. I realize that this is a problem. But I dont know how to deal with it. I have cut myself in the past, along with starving myself. I dont know how to go on. I really dont. I do know that I cant give up just yet.
My life really to the average eye, isnt at all bad. But if someone would look deeper, they would realize that I live with a severely depressed mother, and an uptight dad that expects me to make miracles all the time. My mom, is always coming to me for said “help”. And its to much. […]
Growing up, I was that girl who always believed (and had been told) I was fat and ugly and that even makeup and surgery wouldn’t fix that (still have only worn makeup once in my life, and that was for a performance). I also embraced the label the perfectionist “nerd” and girl who hung out with the “weirdos” of the school (I love them <3), so I know what it is like to cop a lot of crap and be bullied. And even though I consider myself someone who doesn’t let verbal abuse affect them, I know what is is like to feel like crap […]
For 3 years now I have really liked this guy. (gonna call him Bob) I got his number at a party and started texting him. We wrote notes to eachother, went to movies, and the last few months he would come over so we could hang out. He considers us to be best friends, and tells me how crazy he is over this girl he works with. I want him to be happy, even if that means im not in the picture. But listening to him talk about other girls kills me and im too scared to tell him… Â I broke up with my first […]
Dear mom
How can you be surprised? After everything that’s happened over the last few years how can you be even be shocked that I’m angry with you? After everything I’ve gone through and all you could think of you! I neededmy mom and my dad to support me and you could only see yourself. I needed someone to hug me and tell me it was going to get better that this was a rough patch. You couldn’t be there for me and help me through my two weeks of hospitalization after trying to kill myself because how dare I try […]
The physical pain and the disease remain. Those cannot be cured. But the mental pain, the betrayals, the tragedies, the taking of my innocence as a child which warped me for most of my life. No counseling could make me expose that…. that horror….in my time boys were raised to be the strong silent type….. and even if the occurrence was not your fault you could not tell.
Because you did not want anyone to think you were not a man. So you overcompensate by trying to excel at everything. Grades, martial arts, sports, charisma, poetry, art, women, loyalty, generosity, being the alpha male amongst your […]
I recently moved to a new city. I left behind my friends, my family, my job of seven years….But I did so to go back to school, start a new career, and be closer to my girlfriend was an added bonus. When I got here everything was great. We talked like we always do shared and supported each other. Now….she barely wants to talk to me even though I have done nothing to merit this. I cook I clean I do laundry vacuum do dishes, so if you’re reading this and thinking oh he’s a guy he probably doesn’t do much to help, ya right […]
A week from today, I will end my life. I have known for better than 20 years that my end would come by my own hand. Now it is time. While I am both heart-broken and depressed, I also realize that I no longer have the capacity to contribute to the world at large, much less to those I love, in any meaningful way. I’ve known for roughly five years that the confluence of events over the course of my now 46 years were heading in this direction. I’ve sunk ever so slowly into a situation that makes my ability to continue, impossible.
A month ago, […]
It a bit hard to sum up ones failures in life in a quick way however I will try my best; thanks to everyone that reads it,
Basically I was abused and neglected emotionally as a child sometimes physically- my mom tried her best to make me as wimpy as possible as she is a social retard who attacks and sabotages her children when ever she can and will attack anyone displaying any sort of healthy self esteem, she’s also a drug addict although not a ‘hard’ one a medicated and tobacco one. I have no idea why she does this and she has a completly […]
im scared. and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im falling deeper into depression, and i cant take it. i cried like 10 times in the past few days. everything is so stressing to me. and i feel like things  are affecting me more. like im more sensitive for some reason. ive never been this sensitive. so its weird to me, and i dont know how to deal with stuff. i just want to be dead. i actually havent cut for months now. last time i cut it was all down my left arm. from elbow to wrist all covered. but […]
Okay so everyone always wants to know what my problem is, why I feel this way or why I seem totally unable to make things better. But for fucks sake they don’t know me, or my history, so they’re in no position to judge! The fact is if they did, they’d probably understand why I want to die as badly as I do. And trust me it’s such a long, sordid and sad story that half the time I wouldn’t even know where to start or how to explain. Sometimes I look at the way my life has turned out and it makes me fume with […]
im sorry but i really dnt have neone to talk to nemore. since 2001 ive had serious thoughts of suicide. My life really sucks… when i was three my grandfather decided to molest me and then when my elder brother hit puberty he decided to rape and molest me for almost 5 years. i accidentally told the cops and he was arrestted but no one in my family believed me except my mother. everyone else just called me a liar because they didn’t like me as much as they liked him. When i grew into my teenage years my cousins decided to try ‘sstuff’ on […]