i ges I have it figuerd out.. On my own.. Again.. Always and forever

Hello SilentScreamer,
Pretend that I’m not people…then you can share your feeling…emotions.
Sometimes things happen in our lives…way to early…at a time when we are not able to understand or process them emotionally other than based on the emotional age the first trauma occurred…and no I’m not talking about being immature…although we act it sometimes…lol…but we try to understand things that adults can’t handle…and our emotions and fears overwhelm us…some of us become ultra sensitive and shut down emotionally…at least on the surface…and we think we are controlling our emotions…but the truth is that our emotions are controlling everything about us…even our logic…so how messed if we are dealing with all these overwhelming negative emotions before we are able to process them…we freeze. And in some respects each time that happens…we shut down a little more and a little more and a little more…in a desperate attempt for self preservation…and each time this happens…we lose a little more of who we really are. But once we get sooo shut down that we can’t even remember hope and love and joy anymore….we forget how desperately we wanted to live…and become obsessed with wanting to die…but none of us really wants to die…we just want to live again…without fear, and guilt, and remorse, and pain, and anger…well you get it….
So unfortunately…the answer is….wake up and remember who you really are…not who you’ve come to accept that you are…and go back and heal and rebuild your shattered soul and personality….because there is only one way to get true relief…forward…you’ve already come from backward…hell…so why you want to stay there?….death is only a short term fix for an eternal problem. You’re worth reclaiming.

Namaste
Amakua