Just wondering how many others have been on the edge of attempting, but just couldn’t take that last step. I’m not really talking about swallowing ten aspirin or other “attention getting” attempts, but the real thing.
I once stood on the roof of a high-rise building for two or three hours, but couldn’t make the jump. I’ve also held a loaded gun to my head for an hour or so, but couldn’t pull the trigger. I once got my car up to 100 MPH and was going to veer into a bridge, but couldn’t do that either.
I just wish the feeling of not wanting to exist would go away.
5 comments
ive never made an attempt. ive been in a coma. there is nothing. absolutely nothing in death. but my life has been such a miserable sequence of failures and i feel soooo bad.
maybe a week from now, i will pet a dog oe see someone smile and ill be happy to be alive, for just that one minute….. and that one minute is worth a year of miserable depression. some people have it real good
lostwithin.. that has usually been the final thought before I aborted my attempt. those tiny moments in life that would be missed.
I had something tight around my neck last week but I stopped. I still can’t work out why I stopped. It’s driving me mad. There’ve been other things before but I could always work out why I didn’t (usually fear).
Don’t you just feel like the ultimate failure for not even managing to attempt to suicide. I know I do. Good luck.
actually I’m glad that I didn’t succeed. i’m not going to say it’s always a selfish act, but I think it’s an unfair act to yourself and to others. somebody is probably going to need you someday.