The thoughts are comming back again stronger than ever. I’ve been crying more and more lately. I didnt even go to school today because im thinking about doing it. I just dont see the point of living anymore. Things are getting worse for me. Im just tired of everyone being so mean to me for no reason. Last week this boy cussed me out on facebook for no reason! Then yesterday he said i look like a man, and that im ugly. I haven’t done nothing to him at all. I don’t understand. And i cant even go in the cafeteria without everyone talking about me. All i did was sit down and a whole table turned around and looked at me like i did something wrong. When i walk down the hallways groups of people stare and talk about me. People call me stuck up and snotty, but im not, im just to scared and shy to talk and look at certain people. I told my mom and she says “well if you stop talking about other people, then no one will talk about you.” I dont even talk about other people because Im to insecure about myself. I’ve been bullied since middle school and been trying to cover up How depressed i am since then. When you get called ugly and five head since 6th grade, you get depressed. Im so ugly that i never even had a boyfriend and my first kiss yet and im 18. Im just tired of being used all the time. I don’t tell no one how i feel because they’d all think i want attention. and i dont. I’ve been rejected all my life. Its my senior year and its just the worse, i honestly don’t think ill get any prettier. this girl who’s gay told me that im ugly, out of a 10 she’d give me a 2, that God didn’t bless everyone with good looks. they say life usnt about looks, but they lied. i get treated like shit everyday, just because the way i look. I can tell you how many times i’ve been called pretty (twice) or how many times a guy gave me a hug, (once, on my birthday). I hate myself so much. I want to talk to my counselor, and if that doesnt help, then im dead. Nothing will stop me.
4 comments
Hey!
I am telling you you are beautiful. Beauty is on the inside too. You seem like a sweetheart honestly. I am 23. I remember not feeling like I was pretty enough. I never got hugs from guys at that time either. I kissed someone when I was 16 but I was drunk and he sort of used that to his advantage. I think you should stop caring about everyone and just express yourself. Don’t be shy. People will talk anyway..they will be assholes anyway. You are young. Be yourself. Sometimes people put really pretty people down too. And I have been called ugly too and fat. I know it hurts. But if there is something you don’t like about yourself then change it..for e.g. if you don’t like your short hair then start growing it and get extentions. Dress in a way you like to reflect who you are. Ignore the stares. You being sad gives them the power. Don’t be sad. Be yourself. You will be an inspiration to others! I moved to a new highschool in my last year and people thought I was a slut. I hadn’t even dated anyone and had kissed one guy…that hardly qualifies me as a slut. But they thought that..why? bc i wore heels and they were jealous cuz they couldn’t walk in them as well as I could at that age. But I worked hard to walk in those heels. I pleaded my parents to buy me them. I practiced at home walking running and dancing in them before I could wear them. And I loved them bc they looked so great with almost every outfit!
So you be yourself. If you ever have any beauty or style questions then let me know and I will help you…my email is ria.patel88@gmail.com. And remember you don’t have to wear make up but if it makes you feel good just do. Be your own person forget the others…once you graduate…you will make friends…like when you go to college and it will be good! people in high school are immature!
=] thank you, this made me a little but better. And i do put on make up, but i dont think it works to much.
That’s super shitty luck. Go to – SuicideForum.com and post your story there. There’s a lot more helpful people there and they’ll have some good advice for you (:
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