My mom died just last year. My dad is still coping with it, doing so much as to order us to not ever go into his room. I’m human, and my brother was hogging the bathroom. So, I went and used it. I get home from my job and my dad starts yelling at me. I naturally can only squeak out the words ‘I’m sorry’.
My mom said that whenever I get scared, I hide in my own little world, my wonderland… my dad has been scaring me more and more, makimg me feel worthless. I’m almost 20, but I can’t leave because I don’t have the money to do so…
I’ve been thinking that I should just go to my wonderland and never come back…
I just feel like I’m never wanted anymore… I’m just so easy to replace…
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im so sorry to hear your mom passed,,, it would be like as if you are alone on a boat in the middle sea. please be strong.. im sure your mom is hoping you to be happy as you could be,, i know it is hard to even be strong hearted,, i am 21 year old (in korean age count, i was born 1992 december) and can much relate to you,, when you said that easy to replace,, i felt so similarly,,, but you and i know that is not… but sometimes i cant help feeling that way,, depressing …and sad. my mom is here with me and i know even im mad at her i cannot hate her forever.. i know i do love her.. but there are times when relationship is such a nightmare.. but it is so sad that your mom is not with you right now.. but you and your family beared one year .. i really appreciate that..! i do want to be your friend,, really i mean it. you can email me mhs9@naver.com when you feel cold and lonely..! cause i do too..
Hi mayrune, I beg to disagree, you absolutely cannot be replaced. You mom is gone, you are are her memory and gift to this world. You’re only 20, and you have no money now, but that won’t always be the case; escape isn’t far away because you’re an adult and once you take the last few steps away from growing into being fully grown, you’ll find a way. There are alway challenges but you’ll learn to rise to them.
Perhaps your dad is having his own problems – he has lost his wife, he’s probably still grieving. Perhaps he sees something of her in you. You can’t help that and it’s something he must come to terms with. Don’t make his problem your own.
Many of us here have our wonderland and there’s nothing wrong with that – mine is a colony planet shared by myself and one beautiful person. That’s what I wanted to say to you – share your wonderland, and the sharing of it will extend in your life and beyond, to others and become real.