I know I’m 14 years old, and I’m young, but I can’t help but be fascinated by the idea of drinking myself to death. It’d be awesome. What a nice way to die with some alcohol and then just falling asleep and never waking up again. Maybe then someone would care about me, because I know for sure that nobody does now…
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hi, farmerstrong13… When you have a moment, Google “alcohol poisoning” and see what can happen when you have too much alcohol. Death isn’t always the result… however, you can damage some things permanently in the process. I know that it sounds awesome to you… but the experience probably wouldn’t be as pleasant.
People care about you now… I care about you… and I know others do, too. You have so much of life ahead of you! Don’t throw it away…
It… Doesn’t look as good as I thought it did, but it still wouldn’t be a bad way to go out. I could do that, or just drink a smaller ammount to get the confidence to shoot myself.
I’ve been thinking like this for a year… It’s only getting worse. I wanna talk to a psychiatrist so bad, but I’m too scared to tell anyone fearing they’ll think I’m weird.
A psychiatrist won’t think you’re weird… It’s his/her job to listen to you and get as much information as possible so they can help you. Their sole purpose is to work with you on tackling life’s challenges. There would probably be a lot for you to gain… and you have so much potential in life. It would be worth speaking with one.
But I’m 14, and I’ll have to tell my parents in order for them to take me to one. And whatever I say will just spread like a wildfire and soon enough, everyone will know I’m fucked up and I can’t take care of myself…
Don’t hurt yourself. Talk to someone or call a hotline if you’re afraid to tell someone. There is likely a local crisis center that will talk to you as well and they may be able to refer you somewhere. I’m not stupid enough to say you’re still young because I’ve been depressed my entire life but even on the darkest days I can find some things that are worth sticking around for. Dont get me wrong-it’ll be a hell of a lot of work to focus on those things and there will be more bad days than good ones probably. Still…there are things out there that will bring you joy. What do you like? For me it’s animals and art. And trees and nature. Those aren’t the easiest things to help me when I’m struggling but they exist and I wish I was talented enough to be a painter and show someone else what art does for me. Maybe find the little things?
My luck, they’ll send police to my house to “save” me and then I’ll look like a total idiot. Can’t do that either.
I don’t know what I like anymore. I like drawing, the military, and air soft. That’s about it. I’m not the same kid I use to be, and I never will be.
I know how you feel. I am always worried about what people think. I’m in the middle of a mess and the social worker involved basically called me a loser and said I was crazy because I’ve been in therapy. But screw that because it isn’t true. If you want to give me your email, you can talk to me but I’m no psychologist. I can just tell you what I’ve learned.
And at least that’s something. So many people don’t like anything or just like what people tell them to like. Drawing is a start. It’s a release of emotions. Do you want to join the military? Because that’s a goal? Are you near a museum or anything? For me just sitting in a quiet room surrounded by art relaxes me because it’s so nice to see what people have done to express their ideas. Although sometimes you’ll be surrounded by morons but hey…when aren’t we? 🙂
Do you like to read? Maybe there are characters you can relate to? I feel like I have more in common with dead artists and writers and fictional characters than most of humanity!!!!
My email is (gonna try to get rid of the needed approval) farmerstrong13 at hotmail.com. I’d love to talk to you. And I’m sorry to hear that. There’s no way you’re crazy though. You seem very smart.
I would like to join the US Army. That is my goal in life. Military Police all the way. But no, I’m not near a museum of any kind. I live way out in the country.
I love to read, mostly military books and westerns. Sometimes I like books like “Hunger Games” and stuff like that. Reading is fun.
That’s a great goal, farmerstrong13… and I think I remember you saying that your school had a program you could join that put you on track for a military career. Definitely pursue that!
I agree that reading is fun… I used to be an avid reader and I’ve been getting back into the habit. History and religion are usually my subjects of choice… but I do love a great mystery.
I’m trying to get into that program. If I do, I got Basic Training in the summer which should be fun. (:
And yeah. I like some religion books too. If I can find any kind of book that I like, I’ll read it fast, and sometimes a few times.
You’ll enjoy Basic Training… Don’t get me wrong, you won’t ‘enjoy’ it like a summer vacation… but you’ve got military in your heart so you’ll enjoy the experience. I had Basic Training at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri… where it could be 17 degrees in the morning and 70 in the afternoon. Maybe not that much of a spread, but close! My AIT (advanced school for my MOS… job) was in Texas. That was quite nice. It’ll be a ton of work.. You know that… but once that’s done, you’re ready to launch your career. I hope you get into that program!
When I really get into a book, I can fly through it… and I wonder where the pages went. After reading it a couple of times, I get bored… but I’ll stick with the same author if it was good.
Awesome. I didn’t know you were in the military. I would go to Ft. Leonard Wood for my BCT and AIT as a Military Policeman. That’s awesome. I never knew that. What was your MOS?
Yeah. That’s how I am usually. I like series of books too. Kinda keeps me in the groove of wanting to read to find out what happens in the next book and then the next and so on.
If it’s ok, I’m going to e-mail you… I’d like to keep my specifics off SP. Fort Leonard Wood / FLW is also called Fort Lost in the Woods… and it’s easy to do so. We’d go LITERALLY into the middle of nowhere during BCT for training. Some people don’t think FLW is too difficult… but I don’t think they were assigned to my unit! We had quite an intense time… good and motivating… but intense. There is nothing like getting to the end of training when you do your last drill and last road march… It was incredible… You’re all in it together… and we’d help each other… That was how we got through it.
You’ll have a lot more freedom at AIT… just don’t do anything stupid… lol. Some people learned the hard way that, while you’re allowed to do more, you’re not quite able to do EVERYTHING. It’s funny looking back at some of the stuff… but at the time, we all paid dearly for it.
When I was growing up, I was in summer reading clubs at my library… We’d have an end of summer get-together and discuss what we read… It was quite a bit of fun… I grew up reading.
That’s fine with me. I think you have my email. farmerstrong13(at)hotmail.com
That’s cool. I’ve never been a part of a reading club. In school, however, we use to split into small groups every once in awhile and read a book during class. I liked that.
In college, a few of us in English class made our own reading club. We would pick a book to read and come back to discuss it. It was really enjoyable. We rotated who would pick the book… and, as a result, I got to read some books that I probably wouldn’t have read otherwise.