I can’t explain a lot of things because I don’t quite understand myself. I’m a recovering drug addict, I was addicted to cocaine for 2 almost 3 years of my life.. I used to cut myself to feel as if I had control of my own life.. that it wasn’t the drugs controlling my life, then I just began to continue cutting. I have been clean for almost 5 years now and I haven’t cut in over three years. The past three years, I have been with a man, he is the most amazing man in the world and treats me like I’m the queen. I’m a student now and don’t work because he wants me to do what I want to do and finish school so I can better myself. Recently, I have felt so massively depressed.. I feel as if I can’t do anything right and I cannot figure out how to fix things. I used to be so good at managing our money and expenses and making sure we paid bills on time and we never had issues… I’ve dug ourselves into a rut that I cannot seem to get out of in the past year. We are broke although my fiance makes good money, I can’t find a job, I’ve applied so many places.. I have no friends because we moved 130 miles away from everything and everyone I knew… The one friend I thought I had here turned out to be a complete liar.. I’m now 21 and going to be 22 soon.
Long story shorter, I just want to quit at life, is it possible to just quit?? I feel like nothing will go right and nothing wants to go right anymore. I want to do drugs again and cut and make my feelings go away but I know I cannot.. although for the last four months that’s all I’ve constantly thought of.. I just want to know that not everything in life is so completely horrible and will eventually just lead to me cutting or doing drugs again.