I all the time feel lost.
Day by day I feel like it’s work to try to be friends with people. I feel like everyone around me is hypocritical and fake. I talk to my mom all the time about how one day my friend can be gossiping about someone non-stop and the next they’re going on a trip with that person and acting like they’re best friends.. I believe in forgiveness and I believe that if someone does wrong to you over time you need to forgive. I also believe in being true to yourself and making it clear to people who you are as a person. I feel like I know someone so well and then they will turn around and do exactly what they criticized someone else about.
I feel like in order to stay friends with the people around me I have to be someone I’m not, and someone I don’t want to be. I don’t want to go against my morals and my better judgement just to be friends with people. It’s so hard because I feel like everyone around me is like this and there’s nothing I can do.. At times I feel like this is the world I live in and it makes me sick. I feel like this is all that’s around me and I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m just so uncertain if this life is even worth living..
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Hi Sarah. I’m sorry you are going through this. school is really tough everywhere.:( this world is a hard place to be sometimes,and I know I have felt like you do before too-the backstabbing does make you sick. I was in a clique in MS and HS and my friends were pretty good people,some of us are still close. but even my best friends screwed me over sometimes,and I know i did the same to them,we just made mistakes and bad choices. it was a mess…growing up is hard,making mistakes is how you learn.what I finally realized is you do need to be true to your self. stand your ground. the people who are worth having as friends will stand by you,and the people who don’t? they weren’t worth having as friends in the first place,so you probably dodged a bullet. hang in there please. :)you are so not alone in going through this. when you’re growing up,esp HS-it’s like everybody is momentarily nuts.(lol,including me.:P) growing up and figuring out who you are is a tough thing,and everybody goes through it together,so it can be a messy complicated sometimes painful process. but you will make it through,I promise.:) this life is definitely worth living-there is so much to life outside of school!
I know what you’re saying, and I agree that it’s mainly just apart of being in high school and growing up but it’s honestly depressing me. I get so tired of living every day like this and there’s nothing that makes me feel differently or anyone I can talk to that understands..
we understand,we are here for you if you want to talk.i promise you-I remember feeling like I would never survive through highschool,and I graduated last year. in the moment the situation feels so big,like it is going to swallow you whole. but you are stronger than you know. is there anything you love to do? on the weekends i used to visit my aunt and ride her horses. somehow,no matter what had happened that week,it always made me feel better.
I spend my weekends with my “friends” even though I’d rather not.. I don’t want to sound like stuck up or arrogant when I say this but sometimes I think it’s just that I’m already mature and I’ve gotten over the stage of gossiping and stupid stuff like that in my life. Like theres more to life than that…. And that’s why I feel so alone. I’m just tired of pretending like I have these friends all the time, but I can’t just get rid of them or ignore them all of the sudden.. I still have to face them every day
you don’t sound stuck up,i get it. have you tried talking to them about it? or do you think that would be a bad idea? if they really care then if you explain to them (in a nice way,no pointing fingers) that gossiping is upsetting you,then maybe they will try to change. what about if you approach is as something you want to change (supposably) about yourself? do you think it would make a difference if you said something like-“i read a terrible article the other day about bullying and gossip. did you know that suicides are becoming more and more common?i’m really gonna watch what i say.” maybe they will follow your suit. what do you think? idk if you are religious but it helps to find people with similar values as you too. i found some really great people at church.
I honestly think that number one, there’s way too many of them for just me to say something and it change the way they act, and number two that they’re so self centered and immature that it would be easy for them to just ignore what I say completely. No matter what I feel like even if I said something to make them realize how mean they are, it wouldn’t take long for them to go back to their ways, because that’s their normal everyday life. I know this sounds creepy but I observe people all the time in the way that they talk and how they say things about others, it’s like people have nothing better to do than start a conversation negatively about another person or even a simple conversation about spring break quickly turns into who’s not invited this time which leads to more gossip and all this stuff that I don’t want to be apart of. I don’t know…I just think people are so pathetic sometimes and I hate to say that but it’s how I feel.
And I am religious. And so are every one of my friends….
I feel like we go to church on Sunday’s and act good and everything and a’s long as we go to church and read our bibles from time to time we’re fine, and that’s not what I believe but that’s how everyone around me acts.
it’s okay to say it,you don’t sound creepy. i can’t believe the things people say about others sometimes.people put others down to try to make themselves look better.it sucks.:( but there are good people out there too. i think if i were you,if you really feel like there is no way to save your friendships-i would probably slowly start to hang out with other people too,try and make some new nicer friends. good luck. there are good people out there.you aren’t alone. maybe if you did something like volunteer? or if you have an interest or hobby take a class and meet new people who have similar interests as you. i think it speaks volumes about your character that you care about other people. 🙂 good for you.
i think you should pray about it too. 🙂 give it a try. i’ll pray for you too. gl! i have to go though,i’m so sleepy! but hang in there. God is with you,and He won’t ever let you down,even when people fall short.
Thank you, you’ve been really helpful! I appreciate your care 🙂
I’m glad i helped.:) night!