When I feel like this I rant here because, I dont have anyone else to turn to. And I guess people are trying to lift my spirit by saying you can be better and there’s hope and whatever. But the thing is I cant. Mostly because I dont want to. Also because I have tried and never succeeded. I dont want to be anything better than what I am right now: a worthless , disgusting whore. The only thing I want is death. And I dont want people ‘helping’ me and talking me out of it. Thats one of the main reasons I stopped seeing my psychiatrist. I dont want any help.
The only emotions I feel are either extremely sad or angry. When I dont feel like that I dont really feel anything at all. I dont know what to say or do. My brain has had a power overload I guess. I always used to think too much which was one of the reason I had such bad migraines all the time.. now I can barely finish my sentences when I’m in a conversation.