How am I supposed to forgive myself when it’s me that did the worst thing I have ever done?
I was the emotionally abusive man; I lost the love of my life because of this…when I see myself, I see the bad guy from Sleeping With The Enemy or Cape Fear or Fear…I did horrible things(not as bad as those guys, but horrible nonetheless).
Every time I hear something on the radio or TV that pertains to a guy not knowing when to back down and walk away, I cringe because I know that guy is me. I know she’d never be able to forgive me because I’m a monster.
What did I do?
How  could I ever forgive myself? How could I ever seek forgiveness for what I did?
3 comments
Wow..you sound like my ex..*sigh* I love him so much that i’ll always forgive him no matter how horrible he is to me..i just cant see myself dating him again..good luck
I think the difference between you and someone who is a “monster” is that you feel bad about what you did wrong. people who are “monsters” don’t tend to care about things like that. everybody screws up.:( you sound like a good person who made some bad mistakes,but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them and change. the fact that you are sorry is a great great first step! your not a bad person. i think the best thing you could do is to not make the same mistakes again,learn from them. it does no good to beat ourselves up about the mistakes we’ve made-we can’t change what’s already been done,but we can change what we do in the future. that’s all any of us can do. good luck!
Ella is right. You are not a monster because u know the difference between right and wrong. The Phoenix rises from these ashes and you will be a wonderful person, and you will love yourself and that will enable you to love others, which will enable others to love you. Time out for reflection is good, time put for self flagellation is bad. It wil be ok.