Oke. So last night one of my friends asked me if I wanted to join her to travel through Thailand for a month in the summer. I was looking myself for things to do in the summer. I don´t want to stay here, thats for sure. I thought maybe visit some family in Greece, but thats, just the same as always.
I would love to travel to Thailand actually. I would love to go to Australia and New zealand too, but that would be a different trip. Ive been talking about travelling and adventures my entire life, but since five years I guess (since the weed) I never really thought about it anymore.
What bothers me though, if I say I want to come and we start planning the trip. I can not kill myself for at least 5 months. Because I wouldnt want her planning the trip and getting excited and stuff and then she cant go because I had to kill myself per se, sigh. It just kind of bugs me, the thought that you can´t do it.
I think it would be good for me though. Maybe this is something I need to get me out of this misery I´m in.
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Oh, I know that feeling.
I think you should maybe listen to your gut, like if you really really want to do this and are looking forward to it, then go. If you’re lukewarm, then maybe think some more. I dunno.
I’m not trying to talk you out of taking a chance on life, btw. Just make sure you do something you’re really excited about, I guess.
But don’t listen to me. You probably know what you want, somewhere inside.
Well I am really excited I guess, just the fact that I cannot kill myself at leats untill after we´re back is the only thing holding me back really. Which is ridiculous right? Maybe I will not kill myself anyway, and then I didnt go and I will regret it. I would really really love to go.
I don’t find it ridiculous. I feel the same every single time I commit to something.
But to me, you sound pretty enthusiastic about it? I mean, you can always kill yourself, that option is not really gonna close anytime soon, right (I mean, I know the practicalities can be hard, but…)? Oh. And I don’t want you to kill yourself. You’re nice Christina.
I think it’d be good, gives you some adventure in life – and heck you want to go.
Suicide can be shoved back a few months if you really think Thailand will be awesome, why ruin something that could be so fun eh? Also as muspelhem so smoothly put, “Oh. and I don’t want you to kill yourself. You’re nice Christina” 🙂
But anyhow your choice, but I agree with musphelhem, you seem enthusiastic and excited about it – so I think it’s worth a shot
Yeah thats kinda what Ive been thinking. Killing myself is something I can always do, but an opportunity like this doesn´t always come right. What the hell, I could also kill mnyself in Thailand haha. Maybe even better options there, throw myself of a cliff or something lol.
And aw its nice that you guys say that. I have to disagree once again though haha. 🙂
You had better start saving. Cut down on the weed, it’s an expensive habit and eventually turns your brain into mush.
Well I guess that’s one way to think about it, christina… Heh. But hopefully such is not the case.
True that Duke.
Hahaha, that’s the spirit 🙂
@ Will: Thanks man!
Yeah I think I should start cutting down on the weed just so I wont need it as much when I would go there. I dont really feel like getting locked up in a Thai prison so not really planning on using anything there.
Well money isnt really a problem though. I make a lot of money actually. I just spend it on bullshit, plus I work the minimum I have to just so I have around 150-200 a week. I could easily double that, or tiple that actually.
OMG. when I start to think I might actually go to Thailand I am getting so excited!!
*like*
Well. I just decided I´m not gonna go. I was in a stupid happy mood I guess.
I thinks that dreaming is important even if they dont always come true. As long as there’s hope, that’s the main thing. For example, I’ve had a bet on this horse that is entered in the National on April14. It might get injured and be withdrawn before the race, it might fall, or even just not be good enough. But until that moment arrives I still have something to look forward to.
Why’d you change your mind?
Because I changed my mind about killing myself. I´d rather do it right now actually. But I dont have the means to do it unfortunately. Was still looking for a nice building to jump off, which i can have acces to. Stupid Holland and wanting to take care of their people. Most buildings windows cant open or you cant go outside when youre above the 8th or 9th floor.
Id either wanna jump or shoot myself. Getting a gun isnt that hard actually. I know how I could get one, but if so that would probably get to my ex (99% sure they´ll mention it to him because I know them through him), and I am pretty sure he will either call my mom or my shrink. So I kinda decided for jumping. I like the fact you cant change your mind halfway you know.
And I realize I sound like a lunatic being excited an hour ago and wanting to die now. But, thats just how my mind works I guess. I am getting pretty sick of it too. Getting extremely sick of myself actually.
I wish you could see that you’re an okay person
I wish people would stop saying things like that if they don´t know the person. If you don´t know the person, you CAN´T know if they are an okay person.
Sorry, I guess I was out of line.
No you shouldnt have to say sorry for trying to be nice.
I´m sorry I´m a ***** and can never respond in a proper manner.
No one can predict the future. I have just done the scoop6 and who knows, it could be the winning ticket. If it is your problems are solved because I’m going to embark on an SP journey of discovery around the world which will involve copious amounts of alcohol, fine champagne and we will be devouring lobster and other exotic sea creatures. Something to look forward to?
@Duke; Howdy. If you lived 20 minutes away from Sumer, would you pop in for a surprise visit? Just to say hello, maybe trade some recipes? (I won’t pretend to be an FBI aget).
agent not aget
Certainly will. I bought a food processor of all things this morning. I’ve become a culinary wizard in recent weeks and I needed one to make my sauces, dips and stuff. Thoroughy worthwhile investment. £35 well spent.
I now have my perfect spot on the terrace, sunny weather and an ice cold beer. Can’t really ask for more.
What a life of leisure you lead! The only thing missing is your own personal island, populated by scantily clad supermodels.
That SP journey sounds nice. Don´t really like fish though.
Good that you have a good day today!
Mine started out good, but now suddenly it´s 6 hours later. I didn´t do the things I wanted to get done before 12 (it´s now 14:30). I need to be on a birthday party in 2.5 hours and I got NOTHING to wear which makes me angry at myself because if I went to the gym more often this month the clothes would probably fit me better. I just look like a whale in all of my going-out-outfits. I still need to buy him a present, do my make-up. The speed I got still isnt dry! which makes me fucking angry because I havent used speed in about 2 months (maybe 1) and I thought I deserved it because well, my exams are almost over, or something, there was a good reason. If it isnt dryed in 30 minutes (when my friend is picking me up) I cant take it tonight and then the evening will be ruined for me.
My mom was supposed to sort a few things out with my father, which she still hasnt done. I have been asking her for months to go and pick the forms up at his house but she´s really chaotic. And the stupid ***** that I am starts yelling at her again, about everything being lost all the time. Which, just isnt fair. But nothing new really since I just am a stupid *****. I just can´t stand the fact that I have been asking about it for months! She always does everything on the last minute and it fucking irritates me that I have to ask every fucking day and she still forgets every day. I did not ask to be a daughter of that moron so I will not go there myself to pick the stuff up.
Need to stop ranting and start finding buildings to jump off.
Too right Lucy4.
Hey if your trying to lose weight then your diet is the most important thing. I have to take loads of steroids when I get ill which puts my weight up, so I bought a food processor to make sauces to make fruit and vegetables more interesting. There’s method to my madness.
Yeah it wasn’t just a random thing I posted this morning, I’m not crazy despite what they say. I gave it careful thought last night and it occurred to me that a food processor was a sound investment.
Yeah it probably is a good investment.
Yeah well im always trying to lose weight actually. Since my ex left me in november I have lost almost 15 kg. And I do notice some clothes fitting looser, but it doesnt matter. When I look in the mirror I always see a whale.
Yeah but you have to be sensible and observe a balanced diet. You don’t like fish but I find it tasty when cooked properly. I get lazy and eat takeaway food but home cooked is the best. Fish is good steamed. My nan was a good cook so my grandad never ate out. He was a giant, reminded me of Mohammed Ali physically and his personality. I miss him.
Yes I know all those things. Im not stupid. Id rather just not eat though. I like food way too much. Once I start eating I dont stop. So if my body lets me, I´d rather not eat. and yes i know how bad this is and blabla, and I know you gain a lot if you eat normally again. I know everything. For now, I just choose to dont eat. And work out a lot.
Im sorry about your grandad.
Nah, my grandad had a stroke and he wasn’t himself in the preceding years. I drink and smoke cuz I want to go on my feet. He drank heavily but didn’t smoke.
Yeah but fruit tastes good and it doesn’t mater how much you eat you won’t put on weight. Well, unless you eat a crate every day.
Yeah I love fruit. But just like with any food, if you really eat a lot of it you will gain weight. Strawberry´s for example have a lot of sugar in them.