I’m still questioning life. I don’t know what to do. I have 2 years until I can leave this place, but I can’t live here for another minute. I’m ugly and horrible, I’m failing high school, I’m slowly becoming a monster. I can’t take anymore of life. If I can’t die, what can I do?
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You wrote that in two years you could leave that place. I’d spend the next two years doing the best you can in high school and preparing for whatever transition occurs… college, the military, the working world, etc. In two years, you have the opportunity to begin things anew… Keep your eye on the prize… the changes coming in two years. Yes… It will be rough… but if you use the time the best you can, it will be worth it.