So i sit here, going over my life story. Everybody told me that it would get better. They lied. So I stopped telling them things. My mom already told me I’m the reason they’re always fighting, and the reason of the divorce is the fighting. Maybe if I was out of their lives, it would be easier. For everybody. I’ve kept this in so long. I can’t keep living. I am destructive, I ruin everything I touch, my parents marriage, my relationships, my friendships, my life. I’ve ruined so many lives. Why can’t I just be normal? Because, I ruin everything. It’s always my fault. I’m sliding off the road and tilting over the cliff. I really can’t do this anymore. So I sit here, going over my life story. I deserve to die, and be alone. I have nothing to live for.
~fallenangel33
3 comments
I really doubt you deserve it. I am sure you’re a good person and you don’t ruin anything. Other people probably make you feel that way because that is what people do-they take and take and they make us feel inferior if we can’t do everything their way. But you deserve happiness as much as anyone. Why wouldn’t you? You’re human and I am pretty sure no one has the right to tell you someone deserves it more than you.
No one deserves death. Not even the worst criminal in the world. Find one thing that makes you happy. Books, music, something trivial to others but profound to you. Hold on to it, and never let it go. Then, find another. And another. And soon enough, this empty glass of nothingness will be full of happiness and contentment. Even the small things that make you smile, even for just a second, are worth cherishing.
If you’re parents blame you for their fighting it just shows how immature they are. You definitely don’t deserve to die. You may not have something to live for right now but something always comes up, it just takes time.