My ex-boyfriend committed suicide in 2010. I met my husband in 2011, and we got married a few months later. Everything was really great, and still is most of the time. A few months after we got married, he started getting really upset over my ex and his suicide. (He and I had 3 children together by the way.)   He gets REALLY, REALLY mad if he finds any old pictures of my kids dad… to the point of him ripping them up and throwing them away. He always asks me if I loved him, and if I miss him.
It is REALLY emotionally stressful.  Anytime he brings it up, I tell him to drop it because I don’t want to talk about the past.  Then, he talks badly about my ex in anyway possible.  (Trashy, bum, never anything in life, scum for leaving 3 kids behind, etc.)
I NEVER, NEVER, NEVER talk about my ex. I never bring up anything about him, but at times my oldest child will bring up something that she remembers doing with her dad. My husband gets really angry over this and he quickly tells her to drop it, or he tries to change the subject.
Now while this probably sounds like my husband is a horrible person, he is great other than this subject. He does a lot for me and my kids, and we get along great. I just can’t understand why he can’t forget the past and realize that HE is my future.
Has anyone ever experienced this before, and does anyone have any thoughts about this?
2 comments
No I’m sorry I don’t have that experience.Why arn’t you stichkinq up for your ex!?!He Is qone,he toke his life so why In the hell are there bad thinqs beinq said about him?Why are you allowinq him to say those thinqs?I don’t know who to be mad at more,you or your husband!Whatever problems yall had In the past Is the past so make ammends with him already!He’s qone so why are you lettinq him rip the pictures?Those are memories!
He is feeling insecure. The root of that insecurity I’m not sure of…. he worries you loved him more? Or that you wish he hadn’t died and you were all still a family? If he hadn’t killed himself would you still be together? Maybe he’s jealous because he wants to be the father of your children? Maybe he wants kids of his own with you?
Could be a number of things.
Poor guy sounds like he’s a mess. The hard part is he can’t change any of it. He either needs to workout how he can accept it and find peace.. or he needs to leave.
I was a little surprised you got married after only a few months and only a year after your husband killed himself.