I sit here, reading stories and texting my beautiful cousin. She has begun to flirt with me, while everyone told me I should be asking for sex with my cousin as an ill-attempt for her to feel closer to me. I revealed my sexual fantasies and what-not to her, and she has begun to like me back. I feel high, for some odd reason. The term perma-fried is going through my mind meaning I’m always high, maybe it’s finally finding happiness.Â
I just hope that happiness lasts. I love her so much, I wish I could ask her to be my girlfriend. I would take her out and do everything I can to protect her and make her feel loved. I would help her through her family troubles as she and her mother are in a heated argument. I would help her with her drinking problem as she gets drunk any time she’s angry at her mother.Â
I want to protect her from all the assholes that over-populate this world, along with the morons. I’m not much to look at either, but at least I have a heart. A heart scarred by life, by hatred… By love…Â
I hope to show my cousin that I will treat her perfectly, as perfect as she is. From her tanned skin to her beautiful eyes to her amazing personality, I want to be with that beauty. I remember a fact that said, men have girlfriends that they would choose to be wife-material or bear their children. I want to have her as my wife. Maybe not have children, unless we want to risk that 6% chance at retarded babies, (retarded means slow, not as an insult).Â
I would also like to say that I would love to make love to her still, but it wouldn’t be a sex-crazed, lustful love, but a passionate, “true” love (if there even is a such thing as that).
I have sexual desires, but I also like the idea of reaching for true love. It may be that I only desire what i can’t have, but now that she accepts me and may even desire me, my love is even greater, with weaker bonds that hold me from going for it.Â
I really wish I could ask her to be my girlfriend, she is but one of the few girls I can ask out, without choking or anything of that matter.
That is my update for you all. I hope you won’t think that all I desire is sex with forbidden fruit. There is still a such thing as a human with a heart, a heart filled with love, including love that’s for a blood relative. I know the feeling of love, and the feeling of heartbreak. And you don’t need to be 64 to have experience, or even wisdom. Thank you and good night. I love you Jasmine <33333
6 comments
I’m a bit cynical about her calling me cute, whether it’s just to make me happy rather than saying it as a truth
Your post fascinates me. I have a question for you.
If she turns you down, are you mentally prepared to handle the disappointment?
Ive thought about it and I’m guessing I can’t deal with another heartbreak. But in this case I think there might be a happy ending. One_Day and a few other people are “against me” an the case of an incestuous relationship
I can’t think of a less appropriate place to judge somebody than a website concerning suicide.
I am concerned about your infatuation with her though; not that bathing in love and romance is necessarily dangerous. If it wasn’t for the mention of incest, you’d just be a conventional romantic.
However, I advise that you prepare for disappointment. Just in case.
Most of us get rejected on a regular basis; the result being that we develop a thick skin and tend to refrain from building girls up on a pedestal – for the sake of our own mental health. Never take off your armour when in the act of worship.
@rogue, you know the only reason I am ‘against you’ in your pursuit of an incestuous relationship is because I don’t think you have fully factored in the myriad of ways this will negatively impact on your future life, hers, and your family’s. I’m looking at the big picture stuff, which I don’t believe you have taken into account due to your young age, inexperience and overzealousness. But ultimately it’s got nothing to do with me, it’s your life. I just want you to consider all the big picture things for the sake of your well being.
@verum there is no judgement going on here. Just an attempt to provide basic facts of life. But anyone who posts on a public internet forum is inviting a response, which may or may not include a judgement. If rouge doesn’t want a response, he is under no obligation to listen, or even to post.
So great you feel connection, vision, passion, purpose and hope.
And you sound like you have some instinct, some reservations you are posting about here.
Happiness is wonderful. Aiming to feel it all the time is addiction, a parasite on the host.
Contentment is a sense of peace and acceptance and openness that is more stable.
Connection, vision, passion, purpose and hope. Hold on to that and imagine where you might apply those feelings in many ways not just one way.
Of course happiness isn’t perpetual so have you had a disagreement with her yet? Have you practiced having conflicts and resolving them? Do you know what you want in life and if she wants similarly? Do you share the same beliefs about having children, or not having them? Are you ready to care for a life you bring into the world?
It takes bittersweet strength to opt for the long term feel good over the short term one. Great to have good family and not so great to try to turn it into a substitue for the world instead of a relationship to bolster your strength to go into the world. Easy now can mean real hard later.
How is it that her relationship with her mom and alcohol will be helped by having sex with someone so connected to the family. Is it possible you two having sex will worsen her family problems? Could it be you’ll stir up more chaos in her life and yours too by turning what could be a warm supportive relationship into a sexual release, the sex will pass quickly the chaos might not.
It won’t cost you anything but courage to imagine that before you decide what to do.