Good luck to all , need to lye down / hopefully god will bless me and i wont wake up , I say that with true conviction , I wish I was the old Julia the one that danced , laughed ,Sing  and went out of my way to make other people happy. Ive always enjoyed helping people , every one has always said my Heart is bigger than my Head! ,Now my pain is Bigger than it all . Both Physical and now emotional . Im loosing it all ! FAvorite moto used to be Pray often especially for your enemies, and those whom hurt you ! Dance like no one is watching, Sing like no one is listening,Laugh often and loud, Love like you have never been hurt (which ive been severely hurt every way possible except murdered  ,by people that are not suppose to hurt you ) But I still loved like I never was hurt. Fish like your a pro (even if you are not) Always be kind . Treat people how you want to be treated …. And Now I still try to follow as much as far as my heart goses , I just wish the pain would go away from me , I want to work , and have a better life for my husband , dogs and I , RIght know there is no light at the end of the tunnel and hasnt been for a while , I cant stand this , HE would be better If Id just pass .
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caaan we talk :S
I feel the exact way as you right now! I’ve never felt the loneliness that I feel right now, and feeling so sad is painful. One of the saddest things for me to do is look through my pictures of how I used to be. I use to smile all the time, was generally a happy person. I loved to be around my friends to make them laugh no matter how stupid I acted, making someone laugh or smile has always meant the world to me…I really, really, really miss me! At this point I’m just looking up methods and which would be best for me…
You are just one person and the world weighs a lot more. So you can’t win every battle. You can and should still do all of the things that you used to do. That’s the best defence mechanism, even better than a machete.
What if – even now – your husband would jump in front of a freight train to save your life? Telling yourself that he should leave you is going to do neither of you any favours. You’re not just one person; you’re a team.
Don’t give up on yourself. If your husband is still around, he hasn’t. It’s quite probable that he never will.
Jeeze Julia, sounds like you need a nap and you’ll wake up feeling at least a bit better.
What the hell did the ‘old Julia’ do to refuel her heart? Long baths, music, hobbies? Some of that hedonistic great stuff Verum listed in one of his prior posts?
Sing like no one is listening,Laugh often and loud, Love like you have never been hurt
That saying has often pissed me off cause I feel it really says: live like you have had a lobotomy. Jeeeeze. We love dogs in part cause they have very little frontal cortex..no place to ruminate and imagine the future. They are in the now. We are not dogs (though I’d love to come back as a one, treated well – but I don’t believe in reincarnation so vicarious experience with them is as close as I’ll get.)
Have to asked your husband how he is fairing?
Really maybe this is a time to look around at your life and relationship and job…dare that perhaps you need something different, perhaps you’ve grown and you are having growing pains.
@ Verum…you crack me up with the train thing. Man at the inevitably deadly alter of ‘love’?