I am going to commit suicide tonight. Â I find every moment that I am alive to be sickening. My beloved cheat on me with my best friend. She feels nothing for me, insults me all the time, treats me like garbage. She hates me now… I still love her, she has no idea of how much she meant to me.
To my family, I am sorry. I have always been weak and pathetic, I have always been a burden. I will no longer be a burden upon everyone, tonight I will finally take responsibility and end it. I was never meant to be in this world, I should have never been born, I was born to bring forth pain into the world… I am sorry for even trying… I am sorry for living… I am sorry for who I am.
Death is the only cure for this inhuman life… Farewell
3 comments
Hi there Jordan..
Why are you blaming your self for others opinions? each one of us has his own share of troubles , we have struggled back and forth , and we had some nice moments , don’t lose hope in life , don’t blame your self for the way things are around you , don’t feel like you’re a burden cause you can change this , only you!
Take a step forward , you should KNOW for sure and with no doubt that life is saving something good for you , nothing lasts as it is , its nature , happiness or sadness won’t last , please fight for you , I don’t know you but you must have something really worth to fight for , maybe you don’t realize it yet , but one day you will , wait for this day to come , keep fighting….
I hope you didn’t go quite yet…
Why is it that you feel so sickened to be alive? I don’t know much about relationships myself, but I’m sorry your beloved did such a thing to you. I know you care and love her, but I think you should let someone who has moved past you and treated you wrongly dictate your life and tear you down – I know, much easier than said. But why let her win, why let her get away with cheating on you and get away with bringing you so far down that you don’t want to live. I’m sure others here can easily relate with a loved one leaving and they’re struggling moving past them…so hopefully one of them sees your post and can post and show you’re not alone( if I haven’t done that… ).
Even though this is the only post I’ve seen from you I don’t think you’re being weak nor pathetic. Why do think so lowly of yourself? Do you feel like you’ve made too many mistakes? What exactly, just trying to see if I or someone can help… Don’t mean to interrogate you. You don’t seem like the person who ’causes pain, more like one that cares and things just go wrong…in which you’re not to blame, but you still beat yourself up… Don’t apologize for being you; you are who you are, and that’s wonderful… I see nothing against you, nor do I think you could make me want you to apologize for your life or for who you are.
I truly do hope you didn’t end it tonight… if you didn’t please do post again or something, ’cause we’d like to see if we can help. We all support each other. If you did, well…I wish you some peace and some happiness and a cease of pain. I’m sorry life has brought you to this…
( If you don’t feel like posting do feel free to email me too: tickin(dot)will(at)gmail(dot)com )
The love of my life cheated on me too. We had spent many happy years together problem free. I suddenly became very sick, lost everything and he cheated for most of that time but stopped and was in therapy before I found out. Finding out was so traumatic I had a mental breakdown. I forgave him and we worked through it, but he is still lying to me! Some of these lies are so extreme! The fear of him still cheating is too much. The fear of a relationship with anyone else is too much. Being alone for the rest of my life is too much.
I am going through constant trauma and stress from him, I am bed bound due to illness most of the day for over a year now (I’m in my 20s!), have no friends, can’t work and can’t get on welfare. I’m also in debt.
I’m in a cycle I can’t get out of.
I’ve tried therapy and self-help books. They don’t fix the problem, just help you move on a bit better.
I texted my mum that I wanted to die and she ignored me.
Never hurt someone that you love, it can destroy them too much.