its strange. im depressed i know that, my family knows that. at school nobody knows cuz i come across as happy, positive, never sad, and no way depressed. yet i carry around suicide notes and one of my friends saw and didnt believe it..shows im either a good actress or i should just shout it to the people around me..cuz now it looks like im a liar…oh god i made a problem if i tell some of my friends will force me to get help (been there already) if i dont i look like a liar.. my life would make a great show just cuz there is sooo much drama…yaa maybe nobody should know me.
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hi, fakingit… Maybe getting help is a good idea? I know you wrote that it’s happened to you before… Sometimes it takes a few tries to connect with someone so you can work on the stuff happening in your life. You don’t have to throw open the door to your life all at once… but maybe gradually, over time, you can share a little more.
@distant.road-iv come to realize it isnt so much whats goin on now i just live in the past maybe thats why getting help has never worked cuz i cant fix the past..nobody can.
Perhaps the past isn’t meant to be fixed? You can use your experiences from the past to help you navigate the future… but the events of the past are written. I’ve made many mistakes that I’d like to fix. The only thing I can really do is use that knowledge when I come across a similar situation… to make sure that I don’t repeat the same mistake.
Damn DR … you sound like me … but more eloquent 😉
crude dawg
Great minds think alike, Dawg… 🙂 I’ve read a lot of your comments and we’re often on the same page.
i see what your saying DR. the thing is i didnt make any mistakes…except the way i handle things. what happened is at school nobody gets me. at home my sister (who is 6years younger) if things dont go her way i get a new scar. this is still reoccuring but it gets better and i learn to deal with it which is interesting that u said maybe the past isnt meant to be fixed. with the people at school and my sisters behavior it might get better but will never be fixed. its the fact that i tried to die over just those stupid problems. thats my biggest problem.
no one can “fix” or change the past … it’s history … but we can learn from it and adjust our behavior in current and future situations based on what we’ve learned. try not to carry the emotion of the past with you … forgive and let it go … it happened, it’s over. But the lessons remain … if someone betrayed your trust … they are untrustworthy … no reason to remain angry or disappointed by it … it’s done and over with … but that doesn’t mean they magically can be trusted, they’re still untrustworthy … you are just no longer angry or disappointed about it.
Living in the past lets a past event continue to affect how you feel today … that energy to keep that past event current and fresh is better used on creating new and positive events, experiences and relationships using the past events as a guide as to what NOT to do.
forward dawg
Nobody knows me either. I think I like it that way.
@dawg- that last part..sooo true. im trying to move forward.
@Duke-i like that most of my friends dont know im depressed/suicidal but being “invisible” thats the shitty part. and i dont like it.
I know 🙁
But imagine for one moment that you were not invisible. How would you feel taking comfort knowing what you know. Knowing that the same people are so disingenuous. When you think about it, what has happened is a blessing in disguise.
soo true. though if i wasnt invisible maybe i would have more of a social life maybe, to me thats what matters..ha i dont have school tomorrow but nope my sister is the one going out tonight im stuck at home with our parents cuz im just so damn invisible.
Neither do I really. When I left Uni I fell out of contact with my friends. Since then the people I know mainly through necessity or misfortune. I’m not a fool who is open to attack but people like me have to take care because I’m the prey and not the predator. I have never let anyone get that close to me and time after time that strategy has been proven to work well.
hmm..i can see that, last year i spent the whole last part alone. i lost all of my friends the only thing it did was improve my grades. im the type of person that has to be around people i dont do well alone. my confidence goes to an all time low and i get laughed at more when im with people i just get glared at. idk people at my school are bitches and man whores..i cant wait til i graduate…in 4 years. ugh.
You feel like that because your in school where people are forced to be sociable and anything else is just seen as weird. School is like this artificial machine that you are part of whether you like it or not. Work is different, depending on where you work because it’s is a profit making organisation where employees are held culpable which is why its not a good idea to mix work with pleasure. School is different than work because there is a social structure.
…ya that sums it up. i dont care what school can be called..i dont like it. school is fucked up.