I hate it when people say suicide is selfish. People that I thought I could trust say suicide is selfish, cowardly and wrong. I don’t know why I call them back, I don’t know why I answer their questions and I don’t know how much longer I can fake this happiness. Sometimes I fantasize while I’m laying down, I get up grab a noose and hang myself. Other times I fantasize grabbing that gun and shooting myself. Lately I’ve been feeling really suicidal, I watched people jump from the Golden Gate bridge and boy was it amazing. No one has a right to tell me I can’t commit suicide but it’s because people tell me they’ll suffer or they’ll feel hurt, that’s why I feel so alone. They don’t understand how alone I feel, how angry they make me and they don’t make amends. I build myself up and they break me back down. It’s a battle every fucking day and I don’t know how long I can take it anymore, it’s been too long. I just want to leave, I want it to end. I have to do everything. I’m tired and it’s beyond physical now, I’m mentally tired. People say they love me, then they hurt. I thought love meant you don’t hurt the people who you say you love. They tell me they want me to be happy but then they do things they know makes me feel sad. They say suicide is wrong selfish or cowardly but they don’t have any qualms when I stay locked up every day and I cry and they see my eyes puffy red and swollen. They say suicide is selfish wrong and cowardly but they have no problem continuing to lie and don’t care when I ask them why won’t you tell me the truth?
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7 comments
You are not selfish. You are just tired of hurting like many of us on here..
I know what your going through, everyone lies to me and wonders why I am so pissed off with them when I find out the truth.
P.S. Jumping wouldn’t be a good idea, your last few seconds would be horrid i think.
I f*cking hate it too when people say that suicide is selfish. So….it’s NOT selfish when others tell someone they can’t kill themselves because you have to think about how THEY feel? Seriously, those people are the worst, and THEY’RE the most selfish.
@bah
neither is selfish, the person who wants to kill them-self is just looking to end the pain and the person who says to consider how they feel are just worried or scared for your safety and they are trying to let you know that they care about you.
the only truly selfish people are the ones who tell you that you’re selfish. but that is also only because they don’t fully understand the emotions that you are feeling, or they’re assholes
I know exactly how you feel. I think it’s selfish of THEM to keep you around, because they don’t care that you’re in pain, they just don’t want to be hurt by your death which is selfish. To them you’re being selfish by hurting them, and to you they’re selfish by making you stay and hurt. So in the end both could be considered at fault. But I wouldn’t take it to heart, if you stay for somebody – you’ll never be happy and in the end they might leave you.
Who cares what they think. Do what’s best for you.
what those people think of suicide shouldn’t really matter, unless you’re hoping to be understood, gain empathy, have your guilt being diminished etc
chances are it won’t happen + us humans are all selfish in the end