I have a very violent brother, and what’s the worst part? a tiny piece of me really wants him to take out all of his fury on me. To properly hurt me, like i can’t. My razorblade just doesn’t do the trick anymore, i think it’s blunt, only leaves a scratch that doesn’t bleed much. It’s killing me. i need pain, deliberately holding my hand under hot water just the feel the burn…. i don’t think i can do this for much longer.
Life is becoming darker and darker…. i can’t see the light. Afterall? We were just born to die.
I think i’m starting to love Aaron. That makes it hurt so bad, knowing that i’m falling for him, but even he can’t change my mind.
The one fear that barely anybody knows keeps tormenting my mind, twisting each happy thought into crumbling nightmare. I fear i may be beyond help…. This is the last of me. My days have become an endless routine, i’m so sick of listening to the exact same songs at near enough the same time everyday (depending on whether or not i’m on a school break), i feel like a record stuck on repeat.
I don’t know if i am going to get better…. I hope that you all find your peace soon, even if it is too late for me.
<3.
55 comments
Oh myyyyyy Aaaron ;D
Wooooo Aaron oh yeah!
LAWL c:
We aren’t born to die if we were we would die at birth
We are born to live for a period of time THEN we die xD
You’re young, live life, love life, die old, die well
You should join a pottery class and make a vase. It’s more difficult than you think and there is a sense of satisfaction from displaying your work of art which is unrivalled. I will put up a picture of my vase and show you all the therapeutic benefit. Unless I become enraged and smash it or knock it over whilst in a drunk state. Then I will post a picture of the broken remains of what once was a fine piece of work.
Why pottery? D:
Why not something more fun like…
Oh I dunno…violent video games?
Go paint-balling?
Attheend: sorry, aaron’s mine 😉 and i can’t love life. It’s sick :/
Duke: I might try that… and don’t smash it before you show me :O
I love MW3, that’s quite violent? gets out a lot of anger…
You’re sick D: <
Learn to love it. Love it for real. Live it forever. End it epicly.
Like a video game c:
I enjoy using remote turrets to shoot dumb asses in mw3 c:
Yeah go out there and explore the environment.
ha.. same 🙂
I’m sick?! what was it you told me about little kids?
I want aaron to love me back…:/
duke- i intend to… :/
You scare kids? o.o
Ugh dun be depressed about life over a dumb boy -.-
Boys= Stupidity
Girls= The complexity of the universe
Boys+Girl= O.O IDK
naa.. not depressed about one boy.
Boys+Girls= The ability to carry on this sick, twisted world.
I think I’m going to have to come out of retirement, buy a PS3 and MW3 and show the youngsters that the veteran gamer still has what it takes. I think it all went wrong when I started spending my money on cool stuff like booze and cigarettes. Definitely the gateway to depravity.
urmm… no PS3. xbox.
totally agree about the booze and cigarettes… O.o
Xbox is no match for the PS3. Santa didn’t get my letters because Royal Mail are so lame but if I had a choice it would have definitely been the PS3 for christmas.
Depressed about multiple boys? ;D
lololololololololololololol troll ;c
Duke you’ll find soem new features on these things XD
Like touch sensing buttons XD
Get an xbox old man and I’ll show ya how it’s done
And nu uh….cigarettes are a rarity for me
Booze…Booze is good 8D
Duke- you make me laugh… 🙂
Attheend- yes, actually 😉 not just boys though… :L
;_; oh my…lol jk
Meh I’m bored :/
saammee.. :/ playing pathetic little girly dress up games. 🙂
Designing my wedding… O.o
….how horrifying
this is what my life has come to :/
I tried playing MW2 and the toggle sticks seem really odd. We never had them in my day. I’m only 27, I don’t know whether thats old in gaming terms. They said Moscow Flyer was too old to win the Champion Chase. Did he listen. No! He came back at the age of 11 to become champion again. Loss of form is temporary but class is permanent.
Ewww MW2
I love toggle sticks 8D
And psh Duke you suck XD
Emptiness plays video games with me
and she’s older than you!
did not understand any of that.
wat.
I don’t know whether any of you know Aki, she doesn’t post here often but she knows everything about video games. It’s practically the only thing keeping her alive. I’ll send her an email asking her to join you on MW3
yay! 😀
Yup. I’m a dinosaur :/
hahaa…same. RAWR. O.o
I feel like a dinosaur playing retro Atari classics now everyone is talking about MW3 and MP3.
MP3? O.o what happened to the days when i all i did was watch my brothers play mario 64 and golden eye on the nintendo 64… ? 🙁
Those days died.
Haha emptiness wanna play Mass Effect 3 with me? D:
Oh pwease?! and hurm the name Aki rings a few bells
🙁 i want those days back.
@ Nat I don’t know whether it’s you but did we have a conversation a few months ago about your dog being lazy and overweight?
well… i recall this? i think we did. because my odg is lazy and overweight -_-
You should read the post by EndofTheLine. He explains the way you are feeling perfectly.
Those days are dead and gone…
about my lazy and overweight dog? O.o
I thought so, think it was when you first joined.
Attheend. i want them back. now.
Duke. I joined in like, december? :/
No about going back in time.
No. They’re gone. Accept it. Too damn bad they’re gone.
I wonder whether we will ever make it out of here.
i want to be gone with them.
i might check it out?
We are all wandering through the valley of the shadow of death. Whether we get out is up to us, which exit we take is also up to us. Where are you in the valley duke?
im in the suicidal valley.
lol you mean the death side of valley?
naa… i mean i’m in my own little valley full of pills and razorblades and bridges.
Way to alienate yourself jerk :'(
yes! fuck my life! 😀
That sounds like one of your old posts Attheend, which I read and may have even commented on. It’s from the poisonwood bible and I commented under the username Jose Mourinho.
it is from an old post. Did you now? i can’t remember xD
But yes so where are you in this wonderfully sick valley? c:
The post is called the valley of the shadow of death and I’m at the point of no return.
Haha oh yeah o:
Hey wheres Nat o:
I will play in a few minutes. I suck horribly still though. I need to get out my anger. 🙁
I’m going to sleep in around 10 mins. Some of us have work in the morning. Yet another crappy day awaits. If anyone has anything really urgent and important they would like to say that just can’t wait until tomorrow, now is the time to say it.
Nat left 🙁 wish i didnt, love talking to you guys. really need you right now as well… :/