Its been a while I guess. Yesterday was going to be the day. I had it all planned, i was going to die. It wasnt until my friend from a different country, who I have not yet met, asked me if I was ok. She told me some things she once went through.. She told me how much I meant to her and others. That it wouldnt be the same without Zoe.. It was emotional, made me seriously think. Do I actually want to die? Sometimes yes. But there are those precious moments in life that give me the will to go on. I dont want to die. I want to be happy. But.. Whats the point of living if your no longer happy? .. There isnt any reason if you are unhappy and if people think your crazy. Hmmph. Im stuck.
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We are all there as well. 99% bad times, 1% good – which keeps us going. If you are ok with that percentage, stick around
Im not sure i am ok with that percentage..
@AllbeletsHappy i was ment to go wednesday but i got stuck at my parents house all week and i dont want them to be the ones to find me. but i do get where ur coming from. there are good moments in life that when ur going through them its like, i never want this to end. they are the moments we have to hang when we are at our worst, then live off the memory of them for as long as u can, not a perfect solution but if it keeps u here…
Seems like your friends words of love had a very positive influence.
Which pretty much gives you quite a few concrete reasons to remain alive.
And the fact that you listened and chose to go on means that the road still has room for you.
So keep your head up and keep marching.
I can relate to this exactly, really. I don’t really want to die and the thought makes me terribly sad but the horrific feelings are just too much sometimes.
I know exactly what you mean. I always find myself looking at date, being incredibly shocked that I am still here and not having a clue why I keep going. The main reason I stay is for my really good friend, who I have not met either, and who cares about me just as much as I do him. I agree, there is no reason in living if you are unhappy. So why am I here? I don’t know. I try really hard to remember those flashes of enjoying life that I get every once in a while, but it doesn’t seem like enough overall.
By the way, I read your bio. Music is my life too, its always my escape when I feel like I have nothing else to turn to for comfort.
I get you 100%.. Nobody wants to die. They just want to be happy. And they think that their happiness lies in death, running from pain to get to happiness. Here’s what I did when I wanted to be happy. I smiled, then told myself everything was perfect in my life (even though it was far from it). I woke up and thought ‘Okay, today is the first day that you are going to live. Forget all the pain and smile and say everything is fine!’ My head just kept screaming NO! NO! NO! but I took the positive from everything.. My father is dying but i told myself he is not yet dead and has a chance of getting better. I didn’t have any good friends so I told myself that I would try and meet new people. I thought i was ugly so i told myself that i was beautiful.. until i believed it. I thought i was fat so i kept saying you are gorgeous, and your not fat so shut up! I told myself over and over and over that things would get better…. And guess what? THEY DID! I used to cry every morning because i wished i had have just died in my sleep. I used to count the minutes until i could sleep again and have the hope of dying in my sleep. NOW, i wake up every morning thinking okay, let’s have some fun! i go to sleep thinking ‘i can not wait for tomorrow til i see what the world has to give to me!’ i love life all because i tricked myself into thinking i was perfect, and my life was perfect. i seen the good in every single situation, and still do! Yes, sometimes i forget to think positively and my depressing voices come back but now my new way of thinking knocks them straight out of my head! All i can say is that I PROMISE that if you think positively about every single thing in your life then you WILL (and i promise this) BE HAPPY!<3