Been getting worse and worse. Suicidal thoughts becoming a constant presence in the back of my mind. Yesterday I had a voice telling me to kill myself for an hour, I’ve never felt like this before i’m so scared.
I’ll occasionally have brief moments of “happiness” or more to the point moments were I just cant feel anything.
I can’t bare to sleep the moment of waking up and remembering everything has actually happened is to painful to deal with, and it ussually results in me cutting myself with the most severity in comparison to what I do to get me through the day.
I’m so tired of feeling like this i’d rather suffer depersonalization again, at least then I didn’t want to end my own life.