Realisation

I struggled with the confusing feeling of liking someone that was very close to me for a long time.
I realised my attraction too late, ignored the signs and now we have both moved on.
She is and will always be the one that got away.
It wasn’t until recently that I reaslied I liked her in that way.
I recognised that the way I treated her was special, I felt like I wanted to hold her all the time and kiss her. But that still didn’t really help me understand what I truly thought of her in that moment.
I have kissed other girls before and nothing happened, even with her it didn’t seem special. We were both drunk and around others. However, that one night I still reminisce about.  That one night holds so much regret. You wanted me to kiss you and I missed my opportunity.
We were alone. Just you and I.
Now you’re gone. I miss you.
Was the reason you left because we are both girls? I hope not.
I hope you were scared for some other reason, because I am certain that you realised the signs faster than I.
You knew how I felt even before I really understood and felt it in total.
Maybe that is why I loved you so much.