Please read.
If you ever decide to cut just remember.. Once you cut you get addicted. Your life will revolve around cutting.. In your life it will be all about cutting.. Will I cut today.? Will anyone become suspicious about the long sleeves today.? You may think you can keep it undercontrol but your wrong. It will become all you can think about. You will crave it during the day.. You will loose you ability to open up to people. You will think to yourself.. “I need to hide my cuts.. I need to hide my scars.. I need to cut again and hide them all over again.. And worry that today might be the day that someone will notice and someone will tell your parents and your life will fall apart.. But until that day comes you’ll keep cutting and hide the scars.. trying to tell yourself its nothing while the cuts get deeper and deeper and scars become longer..” I always thought I am a cutter and a cutters life is separated into two categories.. Before cutting and after cutting.. People that self harm feel like nobody cares.. They ask themselves would anyone care if I disappeared today. Maybe I will kill myself or get into an accident or whatever..If something happens would it matter.. Now a lot of people don’t understand self harm. Most people choose not to understand it. Believe it or not 1 in 10 of us do/have/will self harm.. The majority of people that self harm are young girls ages 13-17.. Most suffer in silence.. To scared to speak up.. Well me.. I am one of them.. When we feel scared, alone, depressed, hurt, angry, upset, frustrated, humiliated, or overwhelmed with emotion self harm seems like the only way to release some of those feelings. At the same time when we feel numb,empty, like we dont exist, self harm feels like the only way to feel alive. Even for a moment. Self harm comes in many forms.. There’s Burning, scratching, picking, pulling hair, hitting.. Well basically anything that causes direct physical harm to oneself.. Many people ask.. ” Why would you want to do that to themselves.? Its attention seeking, it’s stupid, worthless emo’s.” What makes me mad is nothing gets said about those who drink or smoke.. Smoking and drinking is damage to oneself too. The only differents between self harm and drinking/smoking is that with self harm the damage is visable.. it doesnt help whne people say we just want attention beacuse really we dont… Everyone needs help and everyone desirves to not be judged.. Self harm is not a suicide attempt. Even if you think self harm is only hurting you think again.. Some say there are ways to get your feelings out without self harming. Nothing really works you just have to set your mind to stopping. When you have the urge to self harm make yourself as busy as possible. Trust me the urge will pass. Learn to love yourself. Easier to say then do. I know.. Im still fighting everyday. I dont encourage self harm but I do know what its like to feel alone to feel like know one understands and that you dont even understand half the time. Thats why you should try to understand self harm. Dont kick someone when they are down. If someone is having a bad day hug them or comfort them in any way. To all the self harmers out there. I love you and I care. Please try for yourself. Accept your failures and mistakes and move on. And please know that you are not alone. Check out my youtube page: threedee89 or email me at: haleyjeansmith@yahoo.com
2 comments
Thx for posting this. i understand this type of hell and struggling every day with it. i wish people would be less judgmental and realize that this grows into disease and is not a choice. Every year i say i ll stop, but it seems it only gets worse. and later you just have to blush because of the scars and worrying if sb will get through one of your numerous lies how you fell or cut yourself accidentally.
The reason I post these things is because it gets my feelings out and makes the urge to cut go away. But mostly because seviaul people self harma nd they need to know that they are not alone. They can help themselfs and they are loved.