That’s it, unless something sudden and dramatic happens that changes the way I feel (like my mum and brother die in a car crash – I cam dream) I am going to do it. I can’t actually get myself to say what I am doing because I see it as falling asleep, only you never wake up. It’s peaceful and calming, its freedom and happiness all in one. The ‘S’ word used to describe it sounds malicious and destructive, so I’m going to fall asleep, pass away peacefully. Thank you for all your support and I hope that someone out their can help you.
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Sarah – I meant to reply earlier to your posts today.
I see great pain in your past, in what you are going through and it is awful to have to see that has happened to you.
A couple of days ago you said you were unsure. I know how quickly things can change, I have woken crying my eyes out, have got better during the day and then in the evening tried to kill myself.
I know how you describe about falling asleep and just not waking up again. It sounds so good and I am struggling, battling and fighting too, I know I also have no more time left. But just a day or two, just a little more. Keep fighting, you are so young.
It makes it harder when you have good days where you feel unsure if you are making the right decision. It makes bad days seem worth it for a while, but when the bad days become worst and more frequent and eventually the good days no longer out way the bad it makes me question this. Thank you for your support and I will try and hold on to the little hope I have left for as long as I can. I just hope we can continue to fight together, stay strong.
It’s all just a choice…it’s okay, you can’t get it wrong! Once you’ve made a decision you’ve transcended the right or wrong and you’re making a choice. This is what I’ve come to realize anyway. Life has caused you to come to this point and life will provide a transition if this is what you truly wish for. Croaking is a positive…it is, because you’re relieving and releasing yourself which is a very loving thing to do for oneself back to where you came from which is back into pure positive energy…whether we can tap into that understanding on a conscious level or not, it’s all good. Best of luck to all!
Softsoul, what you just said brought me some sense of acceptance. Guess i have being uncounciously judging myself for being suicidal. Now there is a new perspective related to a BIGGER picture about the whole thing. And that puts some weight off HERE AND NOW.