Hello, my name is Marissa. I’m 14. And I’m desperate for help.

Let’s start with my average day, I go to school at 6:50. The first starts at 7:15 an so does my depression. I’ve never been good at making friends and expressing my feelings. No one really knows about my depression besides my best friend. I have 3 classes with her daily, study hall, math and English. I go to youth group every Thursday but Christ doesn’t seem to love me anymore. I’m verbaly abused everyday by everyone. I want to be an art teacher when I get older( that’s if I’m still alive). My mother doesn’t seem to care about me ever since september when my aunt died. She smacked me when I cried. Our relationship has been going down hill ever since. My aunt was like my mom to me(better than my mom actually) I haven’t been able to truly be happy since. People always take advantage of my desperate heart and smash it even more. I’m despreate. I have cuts and scars all over! I tried to commite suicide 5 times already but my best friend talked me out of knocking the stool out from under me or the knife from running across my throat. Please someone help me from dying I don’t want to but I don’t really have options.