Can’t stop thinking about how bad I dont want to be here. My birthday is a little over a week away (July 7th) and I’m thinking maybe I’ll take some kind of pills maybe muscle relaxers before i drink and drink A LOT. Just making it easier for everyone so they only have one day to remember me, cuz I was born and died on the same day. I want this to be the best birthday ever, have friends come out and just drink and get hammered and have fun, in turning 20, it should be fun! Now I don’t want to do anything.
I need advice, should I tell someone how serious it’s become? Like sure y’all on here know but you don’t know me personally. No one who really knows me knows that I’m at this point. A few friends know I’ve cut but think I’ve gotten better. Should i tell someone? If so, who and how?
Thanks
9 comments
The muscle relaxers do not work.
Been there done that. I did 2x as much as the internet said I needed and it failed. So I tried 4x as much – still no luck.
You may have a few seizures and expect your tongue to not work well the next day. But death does not come.
Tylenol doesnt work either. The only one I know of that seems to work (havent tried it) is the detergent suicide thing….
BUT… my hope is that you find PEACE instead.
But what about mixed with alcohol?
They don’t work. I tried.
I also ate rat poison (in peanut butter). Nasty.
Inhaled ammonia & bleech (burns your eyes and lungs).
Tylenol – 25000mg a couple of times and a few lesser doses. EVERYTHING will taste like metal for months.
Even tried ODing on potassium (figured nobody would figure out HOW I did it). Your poop will be an ugly yellow for days.
Point is NOT to try. Point is – it dont work.
But I am not trying to encourage attempts. I HOPE you will find SOMETHING else that makes you want to fight through another day. If for no other reason than to chat with me.
Hang in there. I am hoping you will be here tomorrow.
Yeah hang in 🙂
@James:: Jesus Christ James, it’s like your tossing the anarchist’s cookbook to someone asking about guns. She’s looking to end her life in some self-created style in less than a fortnight, and in my opinion, seems quite anxious to do so. A list of suicide methods cannot be of help in this moment. Nor your feeble attempt to find a chat buddy.
@confused3077:: birthdays are shit-days, every year it’s fuckin worse. Reminders of our mortality, yet we get the phone calls from grandma (I love my grandma) and the useless facebook greetings, each of the voices sounding like a deathbell-toll ringing across our mind’s moor. My advice? A small party w/close friends; at the party, tell them your thinking of ending existence, and see which of them reacts with the most understanding. It’s like a test of your friends’ compassion, and in a way that’s fucked up for me to suggest for you to so, but desperate times my friend…you know the rest. If, at this party there seems no one amongst your chosen guests that ‘gets’ what your saying other than in an ‘oh god hide the knives in her house and call the white coats’ fashion, tell them again of your suicidal thoughts and go from there… I wish I could think of more to say @ this moment…
Nicholas
Nicholas: thanks the advice is helpful but I really can’t handle telling people i actually know about this. I told one guy today and it just blew up in my face. Thanks tho.
@moonlitdusk is that your interpretation of james words ? very intriguing, to say the least
Well, sorry if my post was worded poorly. And sorry if I came across wrong.
Let me try to restate…………..
IF you want to talk. I will listen. I have been there. I know the hurt you feel. I will NOT judge you or ***** at you.
Up to you. If you wanna talk – I am here.
I hope that is more clear……. (and if that makes me looking for a chat buddy as was said above….. then I guess I am just a chat-buddy-seeking loser).
I haven’t heard from you. HOPE your doing ok.
Hope you choose to talk to me. There ARE ppl who want to listen and maybe help you feel a bit better.
gbguy1970 at yahoo