First Time

I have never, ever put my thoughts and pain and utter dejection into print before. I have read countless posts and can honestly say I see so many differing viewpoints that I feel more lost than ever. I have lived with depression and epilepsy for a long time, too many years. You would not believe the effort writing this has been! Or maybe you would. I have now been researching “my exit” for several months. I care little for painless methods I care little for anything at all to be honest. What I seek is an affective method a guarantee of success if you like. My psychologist calls it suicide ideation. She can label it as she likes I know what it is. It is an end to intolerable suffering. A worthlessness, a desolation that weighs a little more each and every day. Is it not my right to say ENOUGH? Is it not my right to say WHEN it is enough? I think it is ……….I think my preferred method is hanging. That is all really. It is very difficult attempting to articulate my pain. I have tried my best.