I tried a new approach to deal with my depression; acknowledging it as a sickness of the mind and body but not anything to do with me personally. I take full responsibility for my past and every action I’ve taken up to this point in life, but the issues slowing me down aren’t my own.
All throughout my life, I’ve been shown the way I should be by the people around me. What I should be doing, the type of things I should study, the work I should go out for, partying and living it up etc etc; so I’ve been conditioned to hate myself for being overly introvert.
My brain has been bullied into believing that it’s just like all the other average mouthbreathers and that I have to fit into society’s rigid definition of normal. My body reacts accordingly and washes me in waves of anxiety when i don’t live up to the high standards that my brain believes others expect of me, but I know it’s false. But because my body makes “me” feel bad in certain situations, then I conclude that I must act “normally” to succeed.
My body craves sweets and chocolates and fried foods but I’ve got IBS and that stuff is no good for digestion. I rarely finish fast food meals anyway, but my body craves them. My body wants women but I find them, in general, to be overly illogical. I have no use for a hanger on and yet I sigh every time I see a couple holding hands. My brain is constantly jumping into day dreams and fantasies, spurning my paranoia on to new heights, but I know it’s nonsense.
I know it’s just this physical form malfunctioning. I grew up malnourished, both in food for the body and mind, and this is the result. My machine doesn’t work as well as it could, but it still works. I can seperate myself from it and realize that I am not the memories that my body and brain are holding onto. I am not the hangups from the past that have stuck onto my body like fly to fly paper. I am not my body or brain, but a conglommeration of the two; the pilot.
Just as you aren’t your parents, you aren’t the body they gave you, the morals they preach, the lessons they teach, or their unfulfilled dreams. You are who you think you are, not the way your body makes you feel. You weren’t born with the ideas of guilt and sadness in your brain; someone told you about them. Scrape away the glut of caked on and outdated hand me down information, find your true feelings for life and living; THEN listen to yourself.
5 comments
Hi TPHG, Nicely written. I totally agree with you. To me it’s all mind over matter. i know that used to make me happy. it’s up to me to get back to that point. Maybe that was back when i was a kid but that doesn’t mean i can’t build from then to now right. Know what i know now, build up from then, last time we felt happy. any of us can do it. in my opinion however, pills just cause other side effects hence me taking pills for 20yrs of my life. now i take nothing even tho i wonder if it would help if i went back on what i was taking for so long even with all the side effects it caused. i didn’t feel as bad as i do now. Again nice write up, it’s so true. Stay strong, Hold your head high and think positive. Take care
LB
Yes, someone else is getting it. I have replied to so many posts saying we are not a reflection nor are we defined by our experiences or our state of being. Nor can anyone decide anything for you…your mind has the power to enslave you or serve you.
So make a choice to feel good about yourself, within yourself and for yourself in all circumstances. We don’t need a ‘reason’…be the individual that you are…accept, and love yourself unconditionally. Anything that is not in alignment with that approach, throw it out the window and with it, anyone who does not encourage you to be your lovely, authentic self. Good awareness, great to see, and thanks for posting. Cheers!
Nicely put
The trick is keeping it going.
How can you keep from being dragged down by your own thoughts?
It’s not simply that we are not what others say we are.
It’s not simply that we are not our baggage.
Deeper.
Go deeper.
Free yourselves from the illusion of this world and awaken to your true self, your being.
You are not your mind.
Accept your true nature in this moment and awaken.
Search my many posts on the topic here on SP
Such as;
the Voice
the Switch
OM shanti
“I take full responsibility for my past and every action I’ve taken up to this point in life”
Why? You didn’t choose to be born. You didn’t choose where you were born. You didn’t choose your parents. You didn’t choose your school. In fact, YOU didn’t choose anything (including your desire to be a pro wrestler). It’s all cause and effect. Free will is an illusion – so taking full responsibility for all your actions is irrational. You’re not ultimately responsible for anything.