I can’t take life anymore i just need to die now, I’m new to this site just wanna express myself.
Ive suffered from depression for a year and half now, i used to be on 100ml anti depressants but they did nothing for me just made me lifeless and made me think more. Which made me worse, I used to have to go and see a Psychologist but he wasn’t helping at all so i just stopped attending.  I have tried suicide before through Severely cutting my wrists a lot with a scalpel, which actually hurt alot. Ever since i thought that i couldn’t kill myself… Didn’t have the guts too.
But now ive just had enough with it all i don’t understand how i have got this depressed and down, its like im trapped away from the world, the person i love doesn’t love me family’s worse than ever, It’s like Nobody want’s cares about me anymore. Im not looking for help in particular, but any advice would be kindly accepted. At the moment im trying to get my hands on a helium tank i have read that it would be a Non-painful death. Please i need help bad, i don’t know what to do anymore day in day out all i think about is doing it… actually killing myself and getting away from it all. It’s just so painful being alive i just want help. or an easy way to killmyself. -j
Sorry for any bad grammar.
8 comments
Hey Inhale. I can relate to what your speaking of. I too was on anti depressants as well as anti anxiety meds. They made me feel lifeless.. Well more lifeless than usual. I too have cut many times. Ending your life is not easy. Ive had severe clinical depression for 7 years. It’s an endless cycle. One day your given a small glimmer of hope that things will get better then someone comes along and happily destroys it. Which in turn makes you feel worse. My advice to you.. I know you said you want out of existance, I’m a hypocrite in saying this because I want out at well. My opinion is.. That perhaps analyse this situation think about the moments in time that are the cause of this mental pattern.. Try to work out what exactly has made you feel depressed.. Compare the initial feelings to how you feel now, and if they are different. I too know the sadness and anguish from being unloved by the person I desire most. Give yourself one last shot at this existance.. And fuck the people who tell you to ‘grow up or to get over it’.. They have no idea what it’s like. Not sure if this helps but just letting you know your not alone mate.
Regards
Empty_Soul.
Thanks for replying Empty_soul. I also suffer from bad anxiety, im guessing its linked to the depression. makes it alot worse too. I don’t think there’s any possible way for me to get over this. No matter what i try, i just end out worse. Maybe death is the only way?
I can also relate to sadness from being unloved by the person I desire more than anything. Im not usually one to talk about how i feel but i just can’t take it mate.
I don’t know how you have done it for seven years.
Thanks
Inhale.
Your welcome mate. Believe me when i say this, I’ve wanted out for quite some time. It’s a matter of finding a way that works.. Sometimes talking about this sort of thing can be slightly helpful.. But it depends on the person. My understanding is youve been pushed to breaking point.. Possibly even further. I’ve been playing the waiting game. It’s starting I wear thin again. You might find peace with pursuing death. But what if things change, I know that sounds slightly optimistic, probably the most optimistic thing I’ve said in months. I thought for a longtime like yourself that death is the only option. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
Im 18 mate, Many will say i have my whole life ahead of me… but honestly i believe its just going to get worse, nothing can change it. Like you said there’s the slight rays of hope, that just get tore away from you and makes everything worse. But i do think maybe one day it will all go and the happiness that i seek will become reality. But i just can’t see that happening any time soon…
18.. Jeez I remember when I was 18… They were some of the hardest times of my life so far. Potentially things could change at any moment. I guess that’s what I’m hanging out for. To me it sounds like there’s a part of you that wants to see what happens, correct me if I’m wrong. This is just my opinion.. But I think you should keep trying.. I’m 22.. I feel much the same with everything. Where abouts are you from?
Sorry it took me do Long to get back to you. I spent the past few days at a psych ward, being analyzed and assessed. I hate that shit.
I am 44 and have fought the voice telling me to kill myself for thirty years…i m so tired of fighting it…i can relate truly…if u gave me a button to push..i would have in a second
I’m 45. I started feeling the same way again about 2 weeks ago.
I had suffed with depression for about 3 or so years.
I’ve finally got on meds that seem to do a fair job of keeping my mood from tanking too far, but lately, too many things have happened that have pushed me over the edge.
My job, which was going well, suddenly has not been going well at all.
What sort of friends I have have stopped talking with me.
(They weren’t really that good to start with… no depth in the converstaions…
… no interest in reading the news… no knowledge of current events…)
In my famiily, I am an mostly an outcast.
No one returns calls.
Replies to emails.
No pictures.
Nothing.
I am single…
Overweight.
If this job doesn’t work oiut… in this economy… I am done for.
OP, I understand how you feel.
I did things the same way you did.
I tried to cut… but, as you said, the pain was too much.
I tried overdosing a many times.
That failed.
Truth is, most suicide attempts faill, leaving the person alive, but worse off.
I have scars.
I lucked out that the overdoses left no permanent damage.
I still feel like crap — I really do feel horrible.
But I will be honest with you.
You are suffering from depression… you’ve admitted that.
You said you want to commit suicide.
You MUST IMMEDIATELY GO TO A DOCTOR AND TELL THEM THIS AND GET MEDICAL/PSYCHIARTRIC HELP.
Really… like, Google for a service you can call, pick up the phone now and call them.
Seriously, I should take my own advice now that I think about it.