My nightmares

My nightmares

When children have nightmares 
It’s usually of the dark
Fears born from lies
Thoughts born from the unknown 
Their dreams are plagued with monsters and ghosts, darkness and ghouls. 

They wake up knowing that it was just a dream
That in reality there’s nothing to fear but fear itself

Oh how I wish I was still like that

Because in my dreams monsters serve me, ghosts fear me, ghouls fall for me and darkness is my kingdom. 
these are my happy dreams
The ones I hope to relive
You see, my mind is kind of flipped on its lid. 

My nightmares are of love
Of happiness
Of caring
The dreams where I’m sharing a drink with someone 
The ones where I’m still holding someone
Those are my nightmares. 

Those dreams I wake up crying from. 
Those dreams I truly fear
Because when I wake up
Those dreams are really here. 

Those dreams are true
They really happened to me
And the thing I fear the most
Is them happening again. 

I’m afraid of being happy
I’m afraid of being content
I’m afraid of seeing myself
In someones arms again. 

The ones where I’m still happy
The ones where I’m scar free
The ones where I’m sitting under a tree with a love… I hate them so much

It’s so twisted even I don’t quite get it
Why I’m not afraid of dying but afraid of livin. 
So I’ll fall asleep with the hope in mind
That tonight I will dream of unkind things
Because those dreams are not my nightmares.