hello all, 2 months ago i have this thought, to killing my self, so first attempt was taking 2 anti depress pils in the morning before go to work, but i survived, my body can fight that ‘want to sleep’ feeling so my car not crashed. then i try to cut my arm, it really hurt, even before it’s bleeding. Then i stop.
But today that feeling come again, i feel powerless, hopeless, i want to make all my beloved ones happy, all of them are save, but in the end i feel, i don’t have that energy, the resources to make it all. It makes me over-worried about them, make me loss concentration at work, at everything i do. Make me feel that by working, it takes a lot of my time with my beloved ones, i want to quit from this job, but there is  a penalty of i do so, so i’m stuck. I just want to see and spent my time with my sister my girlfriend and my mother, as long as i can, because when i do, the time just ticking in the speed of light, while in other time, it just ticking in the speed of turtle.
I believe when i die, God will take care of my family, so that’s it.
2 comments
Believe me newbie i know where you are coming from i am an older man, who is in a relationship with a woman who i adore, but she has no idea how much pain i am in. i even went to see my local priest yesterday but came away thinking the same way before i went in. I know you wont want to hear this but if you are stuck in a job you hate and want too quit, think of all the things you can do and focus on them which will enable you to spend the precious time with your loving family. Time stands still for no one grab it while you can, dont waste it dont end up like me, tell them you love them and let them know your feelings. I have hidden mine and i fear my time is close at hand. I am a catholic and i have so many fears about what i have planned. Good luck and Take care of yourself.
dear old friend, thank you for your suggestion, take care of yourself too.