Summer Realization

I had a dream one night.  I was with my friends getting pretty stoned outside on a bright, clear happy day.  I took a hit and looked up into the clear, beautiful  sky as I inhaled, but as I exhaled I began to feel out of place and out of person.  I tried to move, and I did, but at the same time I didn’t.  It was as if I was out of my rotting flesh cage, but my vision wasn’t coming with my spirit.  All that I could see was the clear blue sky… I began to panic.  My unbound spirit was being anchored to this sack of shit called a body and I couldn’t escape.  It was as if  the world, or God(if it exists) was taunting me joyfully, showing me something I could never experience: freedom, beauty, acceptance, peace.  Now I realize I hate the bright blue sky, the lack of clouds, the overbearing light and happy sounds.  I just care for darkness now, give me a cloudy day void of the sun, give me an early night without the piercing rays of light.  Fuck the day and fuck the sun, fuck the light that blinds the truth and fuck the youth that have their fun.