Tag:

Realization

it’s 2021

by applepie2929 1/6/2021

written by applepie2929

it’s been so long since I posted here

Im 19 now, I dropped out- listen, university ISNT for everyone. Especially if you’re rushing things.

my dad is back in Honduras again, I mean I’m happy about that at least. I’m afraid he’ll come back.. I know he will.

to hurt us.

im doing.. okay? I guess, I don’t know how to put it, i role play as ponies, My Little Pony OCS, they’re fun actually. I used to role play before, but I drifted away after I turned 15… then im back in it again. Oh how the world goes in a circle.

i get paid with unemployment […]

1/6/2021 1 comment

I have had a bad day but was given a good message

by kupo95 3/22/2016

written by kupo95

Today I realized I have been like this for nine years. Two years ago I thought I was better but Im not the Realization that I am back at the beginning has made me cry all day . but I kept my appearance’s up wore a smile laughed joked . i’m back to the way I was before I tried to make myself Happy a selfish mistake . I am meant to live this earth dead inside.

I don’t know who […]

3/22/2016 10 comments

Realization and ultimately planning

by Malistroph 5/28/2014

written by Malistroph

It’s been a long time since I posted on here, but I feel like today is a good time to do so. This post might skip and go back in an non-linear fashion, but that’s just me. A few weeks ago, I quit my job when they were giving me a warning for screwing up. The day I quit, I kind of gave up on life once again. Â When I went to my therapist, who is in my top ten people I adore and respect, I lied to him. I stated that I was okay and that I was going to go forward. I had […]

5/28/2014 3 comments

Maybe it doesn’t matter (in a good way)

by unluckystranger 9/24/2013

written by unluckystranger

Kinda pathetic having this realization from an anime of all things but it actually spoke to me better than most people can. Anyways its this show called Watamote and it just had its final episode. Its about social anxiety ,loneliness, generally just things that I could relate these past few years (frustration from trying to make friends, no love life, no sense of fulfillment) which is the reason I started watching it and basically it ended on the note that after all she did nothing has changed and shes still lonely but the thing is she just laughs it off and says “it doesnt matter […]

9/24/2013 3 comments

Hypocrisy

by quaero 8/18/2013

written by quaero

I am so hollow inside. I always thought that I am doing something important, something that will make me perfect. but now i am realizing that that was all bullshit, hypocrisy, painting the circumference while inside was all empty. I don’t know when did i became such a hypocrite. maybe i always was. i always wanted to do something big, achieve something great. back then, when it all started, one of my fears was to have a difference between thought and action. and it seems that fear has now come true. and with what magnitude! I tried to be spiritual, i tried to be philosophical, […]

8/18/2013 1 comment

I’ll just leave this here. sometimes I get tired of talking alone.

by fsl 8/2/2013

written by fsl

8/2/2013 1 comment

I just want to check out

by anon81 6/16/2013

written by anon81

I ruinedmy life with bad choices, poor academic decisions, bad financial decisions, and dishonesty. When I met my husband and gave birth to our beautiful sweet babies I was so sad. Sad because all at once I knew I would never be worthy of this gift I was given because of my past mistakes.

I have devoted 10 years of counseling to my bullshit, with multiple explanations that the attention seeking and erratic behavior from age 18-23 was linked to feeling worthless at home, feeling powerless, bla bla. I don’t blame anyone but myself. The best way I can explain it is that I was crazy […]

6/16/2013 4 comments

As the end draws close.

by Niftie 6/8/2013

written by Niftie

More relatives have come spontaneously to spend time with me without realization of my departure. It’s quite hysterical actually.

6/8/2013 2 comments

Am I crazy?

by mm9 6/3/2013

written by mm9

Why am I like this?I’m a 14 year old girl, at the end of my freshman year of high school. And all I can think about is killing myself. I don’t understand why I’m like this, am I crazy? It feels like everyone else is just strolling along happily while I’m stuck in a hole deep underground. I’ve felt like this for the past 3 years, I cut myself for a while and I’m trying to stop because I’m sick of being embarrassed of myself but the urges are returning. The feelings of desperation and loneliness take up most of my day. I […]

6/3/2013 3 comments

She is

by Lover4evr 5/31/2013

written by Lover4evr

She put the knife to her soul
She needs a sweet release
She needs somebody
She digs in deep, revealing all her secrets
She knows her time was wasted
She put the pills in her mouth
She let’s death sit on her tongue
She needs some love
She needs to breathe
She drives at a tree
She wants realization to come at her at once
She hates feeling worthless
She hates the dreadful feeling of guilt
She wants the light to overwhelm her body
She wants to be taken away
She is hit by it all
She is gone
She was wrong
She just needed […]

5/31/2013 0 comment

by to be or not to be 5/16/2013

written by to be or not to be

i still want to die……..

the realization that i am a burden and a pain is not something easy to live with…. just hope i would die of some natural causes or accidents…. that would save my family from giving explanations

i am tired…. and i still want to die….

5/16/2013 0 comment

Hi my name is Sunflower

by sunflower 5/10/2013

written by sunflower

Hi everyone my name is Sunflower. I have been a member of this sight for a while now (over a year i think maybe 2). This sight has helped me tremendously. When I had no one I came here to talk and express my feelings. Ive made friends here; some of whom havent come on for a while and I hope are doing well. When Â I say I love you all i mean it. My life has been hell, confusing and oh so very lonely and SP has been my light through all the darkness. Anyone who I havent talked to on here i do […]

5/10/2013 7 comments

I know I’m going to kill myself in time

by bluesforthesun 5/10/2013

written by bluesforthesun

For all my life I have just passed from one painful absurdity to the next. And all along I thought, woe is me, I haven’t any luck in life; a life of a boy who was intellectual, creative, loving, and self-aware. As I came to adulthood, I came to the melancholic realization that I am none of these things, nor have I ever been. Even with every shred of sorrowful heartbreak and death of a loved one or a cherished emotion, from every punch in the groin to every stab in the neck, the truly, most dangerously negative force was my own sense of self. […]

5/10/2013 1 comment

same ole shit

by kristink 5/8/2013

written by kristink

had a therapy appointment today. as long as i am still going i guess that is a good thing. my therapist mentioned how scared she would be if i was a no show to an appointment. i told her she should be scared. the pro death part of me is rather insistent. i have come to the realization that i probably will kill myself. the question is when. that i do not know. all the suicide sites say that one should be alarmed if said suicidal person suddenly seems calm or even happy. it means that a decision has been made. well that decision has […]

5/8/2013 2 comments

by L270 5/5/2013

written by L270

I’m not loved. Does it matter whether I am getting it or not. The fact is I don’t feel it. And that is a damning realization. I twist this absence into hatred and aim it inwards. What happens after is of no concern to me.

I know love is a conjured idea yet I can’t help what I feel. It could easily be something on a much smaller scale I’ve yet to appreciate.

5/5/2013 0 comment

by L270 4/29/2013

written by L270

This place, suicideproject, is it really helping anybody? Nothing is solved, behaviors aren’t changed. It’s the blind leading the blind. Maybe it’s the stepping stone to the inevitable realization that we can only help ourselves. We will tumble and collapse while in pursuit, but it’s all part of the progress to reaching the answer. Don’t be afraid.

4/29/2013 5 comments

Too many years..

by whoamikidding 4/20/2013

written by whoamikidding

I have a lot of admiration for many of you who can actually go through the act of attempting suicide.Â I have wanted to since I was 7 years old and have not had the courage.Â I am now 53 and still a woos.Â I suppose what it boils down to is that I really don’t want to kill myself but to be put out of my misery.Â Don’t get me wrong.Â I have come very close a time or two and someday I may just get that courage to succeed.Â I have lived with myself for many years and all I know is that […]

4/20/2013 2 comments

Realization

by fakes22 3/12/2013

written by fakes22

I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. There are no more times I could laugh for real. Everything’s just fake. It sucks. I once had friends who I trusted in my old school, but then I transferred to a new school and realized they weren’t the friends they said they were. Now, In my new school, I do have friends. Friends that are only for the good times. I don’t know who to trust anymore. Sure there are times when I tell other people my problems but those problems are the problems that even I know I could bear with. But what […]

3/12/2013 10 comments

For all of you who are dying out there

by hogpotter 3/3/2013

written by hogpotter

I used to be suicidal too. But since 2 months ago, I have undergone a transition in my life. I am alive now. And I am really glad to share my experience to all of you who are in darkness right now.

This post is written with the sole hope to help you all, even just a bit.

Let me tell you what I did to live.

I write diary entries. Stupid, foolish entries. I wrote things which make me happy everyday. And some really useless stuffs also. “Today I drank coffee.” “Today I laughed.” “Today I am healthy.” “Today I played my favourite game.” ..etc. Trust me… […]

3/3/2013 2 comments

last night

by TheFacelessPoet47 1/29/2013

written by TheFacelessPoet47

last night in a desperate attempt at grasping what was left of my sanity i wrote another poem. I have not written in weeks which i find rather ironic because my screen name is the faceless poet. Last night in my desperation i came to an abrupt realization… No one gives a damn. I could write all the poems in the world and my status in life still will not change. Sure it is a way to vent, but maybe just for one day out of the rest of my life i would rather be content with the outcome of my day rather than having […]

1/29/2013 3 comments

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