Feeling worthless

I’ve been dealing with depression for over 2 yrs. now. And I’ve attempted suicide multiple times from taking pills to OD, to crashing my car. I used to cut all the time when I got really upset. I told my “2nd mom” about all this and she was really worried one day I told her I wanted to die. And me her and her daughter (my ex) went to a hospital for me to get help I took a couple classes and hated it, it wasn’t helping so I left. I went on medication for my depression doctors not knowing I was suicidal. I still continued to cut a little bit afterward. One day I drank so much hopeing I’d die and I ended up passing out on the bathroom floor at home. But now everything is horrible I am blamed by my “2nd family” that the parents are getting divorced and that I ruined everything with their daughter (my ex). I haven’t been able to eat for days or drink anything. I wrote a suicide note saying I was worthless and had nobody in my life which I currently now have no one but me in my life. My second mom was my best friend and my ma. And I texted her today and she just ignored me and I texted her throughout the day and I still was ignored. Does anyone know what it feels like to be ignored by ur mom and best friend that they want u outta their life?? I feel totally worthless and I don’t know what to do anymore, my second mom was the only person in my life that I talked to and I have no one now..guess u can say I’m not good at meeting new people. I just hate feeling worthless all the time…