I can’t do this anymore.

I feel so alone. I feel so lost. I feel so alone that I feel like I already died and everyone didn’t know or just didn’t care. I want to give up so bad. I can’t concentrate anymore. Words go past me and kinda jumble up in my mind. My hands shake because I always want to cry. Everyone’s gone. They all left. They’re all ghosts. Whenever I try to speak to someone, they ignore me. Or they’d look at me and roll their eyes. I used to be one of those popular girls. Everyone was my friend or wanted to be my friend. And I was never bratty about it. I was never one of those popular girls you saw on T.V. It was just because my personality was livid and I brought life. But everything’s changed. No one will even pass a glance at me. And I don’t know why. I don’t remember doing anything wrong. School is such a nightmare. I can’t do anything without someone accusing me of doing something. So I would go home and sit in my room and play sad music and cry. I’d sit in front of the mirror and cry. Mostly from self-esteem issues. I hate everything about the way I look. And the days where I feel most said, I’d resort to self-harm. I want to give up. My parents don’t care. I once didn’t come home for 4 days and they hadn’t even noticed. If I died, they wouldn’t notice. I’m nothing. I don’t get the use of trying, or living, or hearing. Hearing is the worst for me. I hear everything. I hear footsteps walking up behind me as someone tries to shove me. I hear the laughters of people who were close to me, laughing about something my “best-friend” had said about me. And it wasn’t a very nice comment. I hear rumours of me. I just don’t want to do this anymore. If living is some kind of sick game, then I lost a long time ago. I just want to die. So badly. I just don’t see the point. I’ve done so many things to myself. I’ve lived through so much hurt in my life. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m done. I want to die. I want to just leave.