Today was one of those days that every day has been like. Where I wake up and immediately fight with everyone because of course they don’t understand. Just this week I made the effort (and trust me it was an EFFORT) to get my life together. Why? I don’t know. I’m only always trying to end it. I thought though, silly me, that if I try to go get a job and a house that maybe people in my life will see that I’m not sitting here complaining. That I really do need some fucking help.
Who am I kidding? I’ve been begging for help and attempting suicide since 6th grade. No, not the “failed suicide attempts because I really didn’t want to go” but the failed suicide attempts because miraculously someone catches me and stops me. I swear I could blow my brains out in my closet and someone will find me just in time. Not that I’ve tried that. Guns leave too much room for mistakes. If I fail with a gun I just end up a vegetable. I would still be alive and I don’t want that.
I remember posting on here at one point that nobody would care if I died. I got a response saying someone would. Not that I didn’t appreciate that but I was right. I disappeared and attempted a few more times and not one person noticed I wasn’t here anymore. The world doesn’t revolve around me, I get that.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
It’s hard to keep track of people here. I mean there’s really no way to find out how any one is doing after they post here. Or am I missing something? my life sucks ass and I wish I could end it.
Anonymity. Both blessing and curse. I care about people in general, though. So I care about you specifically. Even if I don’t know you and you don’t know me.
Anyone that argues with me….I say to them. “Do you want to be right, or do you want to have peace?” Arguing with people is like arguing with yourself and gets you no where.
Make a choice that works for you motivated by the love and care you have for your own well being…not from place of fear cause so and so thinks this or that…Follow your own heart, and gut and commit to it. Tell everyone else to step off…cause I’m going this way….