By reading most of the post’s here really revolve around love. Or lack there of. Usually a father or BF/GF thing. I know some of my issues stem from relationship shit. Why do we insist on letting our selves be torn apart by the opposite sex?
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You’re right, and your title is great! if you not a cold blooded person we all need love, I think most of the people depress for other reasons might not find this site as fast as those dealing with relationship issues because love gets you all mess up in the head spinning in circles and not sure which direction to take next… at least i feel that way.
People been telling each other how good we are, and then someone would say if i was good why am I alone. well we all mess up before we get to a relationship so we find people that not good for us and then later can’t really help ourselves and end up in a predictable shit situation asking how this happened and why.
For myself the approval of the opposite sex allowed me to deal with my flaws better and accept myself more, The love of your life has a stronger hold on you than even your parents…only because parents normally force to love their child, but a stranger’s love is proof of your importance. People with a personality disorders that lack empathy do not need someone else to validate them in any way.
In answer to your last question…. It’s because we have been trained out of the natural ability we were born with, which is to love & appreciate ourselves unconditionally at the core. To talk about it is one thing, to actually practice it & be it as another. Cheers!
Because attraction can be stronger than depression and gives some people a bit of happiness, but some people look too much into it and invest all their hopes into it and end up with an unrealistic, idealistic fantasy of what love is then are crushed when they find it isn’t what they thought.
I am slowly learning how to love myself first. and you are right, if we dont love US then how can we expect another to love US? For me a physical attraction is not what I seek, but would rather have a companion that understands and trusts me.
I now have yet another stalker on my hands. I broke it off with my girlfriend over a month ago and she will not leave me alone. I have told her I am not healthy for her and she is certainly not healthy for me! Yet she wont go away! My last GF turned into a stalker too!. I told her that I was not in love with her and we needed to go our seperate ways. Now she watches my house, has friends watch my house and just drops by when she feels like it. I dont have anything to offer to her and told her that. I am an emotional wreck yet she still wont budge. Love for her is sick and twisted and dont need it. dont want it from her.
That’s good that you’re able to not only see you not healthy for each other but have the strength to walk away. I wonder if you was attracted to these girl who possess certain issues or they attracted to you. yeah loving yourself is a important thing yet harder done than said for myself.
I am not sure what the attraction was either! but this is my 3rd stalker, seriously! had to obtain restraining and no contact orders on 2 previous women. One of them would get into my house when i was at work and go through my clothes and mail! she even climbed thru the doggy door once. thats not healthy love. I seem to have a tendency to be very good to women who do not deserve it. I am used to being treated like shit i guess!
I know this post is not about being in emotional suicide like trouble but this is also a huge part of my thoughts and tendencies toward it. I am on the fence right now due to much more going on in my life but have decided to suck it up, put on my big boy pants and go get my life back. most everybody here has much to contribute and much is positive. I am educated and can figure out a lot in life, just not my own. a person looking in sometimes has better judgement.
good point! me either. thats why I have decided to not drag anybody else into my life for a long time. Till I at the very least figure this out and improve. Not change but rather find an answer. Having another relationship would be an effort in futility right now. I am a good house keeper, dont mind washing laundry, not a good cook but i try, but never required this from a woman just so you know. I dont mind doing these things but would rather do them for myself. I dont really miss physical intimacy, It was just never a priority for me. not that i never enjoyed it but just not the part i was interrested in. Looking for a female companion for me now would be like an alcoholic going to an AA meeting looking for a life partner!
Sorry, miss your reply. I went out for a depressing walk last night after my last comment. Climbing through doggy door…now that’s funny, I would have taken a picture of that and named it “lost your keys or your mind,” just a joke. That’s the worst being nice or feeling force to be nice to a girl that does not deserve it, that will come around and bite you on your ass. You very last state “AA meeting for life partner” – so true, and this is how people fall into a new situation that’s not that different than last one.
I’ve put my care into someone and because of what I need in my life right now I have to be careful to never put that amount of care into no one until I gain control over myself. You don’t miss physical intimacy… ahhh all I could say is.. lucky you.
I guess I would be lying to say I never miss is it, I get pretty lonely at times around the house by myself. kinda get used to it after a while.