i just dont know how i feel anymore, about anything? that doesent really make sence but thats how i feel. i feel completly alone, dont really get out of bed either.. when i go see a few of my close friends i feel normal and good for a while but i suppose thats because i just get stoned. i suppose ive told them how i feel but they dont get it, they just reply with shit like things will get better but i dont feel like they will? i feel empty and drained and bored of living. i litterally stay in bed and listen to depressing […]
July 2012
The depression break downs I seem to experience are coming back more and more this week. Yesterday I was just so depressed I couldnt pull myself up. I got up to take my medicine and ended up just laying in the floor. It just felt like it wasnt worth getting up to survive. My fight with my dad is getting no better. Hes still choosing his wife/ex-wife (its complicated) over me. My mom keeps saying Karma comes around..he`ll regret it when hes older. Thats not good enough to me. I dont want to wait. I want him in my life now. Its just frustrating
As much as […]
i feel so emotionally numb last few days, these are the times i would usually cut but have managed not to. it feels like a thick cloud is hanging over me so i am in misery yet i am still numb, id rather be in pain, i would rather feel something, anything atall.
uh…just staring at this cut on my wrist…kinda depressed…=~= ill get over it….
Some Days Are Good, Some Days Are Tough, Some Days These Dreams Just Ain’t Enough, But When You’re Here With Me That’s All I Need….
So. I’m not dead.
I’m still as depressed as ever, And the ‘voice’ has developed. His name is Daniel. I know what he looks lik, does this make him real?
I have a new boyfriend. It’s long distance but i hope that we can make it work, He’s too amazing to let slip away.
I really don’t know what to say on here anymore. I guess my story is done.
no, cuz u arent thinking, iv given hints that your the one who hurt me along with my ex oh god my ex has done more damage than u but u still hurt me only cuz i thought we were friends we understood each other u say “dont leave me here” ” i wont leave so easily” “im always here” was all of that a lie cuz now i hardly here from you i remember talking hours and hours til one of us fell asleep into the cruel nights. its like i lost a great amazing friend. where did u go?
Revenge
Death you say was meant to be
It should happen to me
Pain easy to hide
Cause I lied
Said I was alright
But I cried all night
The words repeating in my head
That’s where this action lead
Gun to the heart
Its action kind of tart
Hands shaking
Body aching
Life is always short
Now I’m in the devils fort
Waiting till I get my revenge
So my life will avenge
Because life is bittersweet
Now your death will be my treat
An overdose on pills sounds nice
That would be an extra spice
Now you’re begging on your knees
This is my moment to seize
Isn’t this […]
I need help on how to stop cutting. I have 50+ cuts on my upper leg and I would like to know I could stop. I look at my leg and see nothing but blood and how swollen it is. I just want to sto. I don’t know how to though. I’m affraid I’m going to get caught by my parents and they will put me in a mental hospital. I can’t go to one of them. They will just drug me up and make it numb. I want to find the core to my pain. I don’t think it is just because of what […]
I know I want to die, but I’m not exactly planning it like I used to. The pain of being alive is still constant, but I can’t die because no one will take care of my babies if I do.
I also know that I want this pain to end. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing. It hurts even when I’m laughing, excited, or happy. It’s always lingering to tell me that my joyful moments are nothing but fleeting. In the next hour, minute, or second, sadness will take it away. It has never failed me […]
Once the choice is made … the actions have no choice but to follow – Just Like that!
change dawg
8 fucking years and we got put together again wow im amazed how after that long we still act like best friends and now were back to being over 2000 miles apart but this time were doing it right were not going to go into 8+ years of silence i could see it in your eyes how happy you were to see me and sad i couldnt stay longer i even felt it as u held me close in front of our families. how everytime u let me out of your arms you looked so hurt. i know we get to do this right now […]
I know most of us here feel like outcasts in the normal world. We are just a little bit different from everyone else. The world does not seem to fit us.
I think a lot of it may be because we are just a bit more, philosophically mature, I guess. Whether it’s because of the terrible things we’ve been through, or simply because we were born this way, we seem to think more about life, and are mature enough to acknowledge that there is something wrong with the world.
Most people, I have found, rely on religion, or other people’s ideas for answers. But we […]
Why am i here, Just because of family The only reason i’m in the f*cking place, All the names on this site are also different than they were the last time i was on, The days just go by, I’m nothing anymore..
uhm, I’m new to this sort of thing, so, Hello, I have been reading some entry’s today. What sparked my interest in finding this site is that my mother and father are giving me a hard time, my Grandfather died yesterday of a stroke and things before where quite good. Now all of a sudden my friends are leaving me alone, my mother is out to make my bedroom a prison for me and I have so much anger and hatered that I have been keeping in check for a long time.
Im 16 years old, the guy I liked has abandon me, my Grandfather is gone, all […]
i thought i could be encouraged here.
i was wrong.
as usual, no one cares.
no matter how positively try to think…in time, the wounds are opened up again….and its not me who opens them…people around be – the paternal gene giver – mostly, opens up the would and spreads the infection to the minds of others…thus…unhealing and rebleeding the scab of a wound that time healed…only to be wounded again…i guess…the lesson is…if you are going to mistreat or intend to treat someone badly…why not just shoot them in the head…why still make them suffer…of well…
funny thins is…the guys..gals…we in the people in tis website….seem to be highly intelligent people…we tend to be self aware….but how come…or why is it that we feel this way….or maybe are driven to this manner of depression by outisde factors….is it maybe that we are worse than others that we absorb their bullying…or is it maybe that they know that we are better and that we end up getting bullied because they know we are better…or is it just plain dumb luck that we get treated illfully and end up being in a depressed state….maybe thats it…after several years of mental brutality by the […]
Seriously,
I’m 20. I have had major depression my entire life, I have chronic anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and literally have NO friends.
I have no family either, I live with my grandmother who is “insane” , I love her but I cannot take her abuse and her outbursts especially when I am already suicidal.
I’ve been looking at the posts, and I like the helium idea, I will be around a little longer I suppose because I need to get the equipment and the final exit book.
Until then, it would be really nice to talk to some like minded people, its nice to know that I’m not […]
My best friend told me he didn’t want to speak to me anymore and that we should just move on, he’s ignoring me now. He was one of the reasons why I no longer self-harmed and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Great
So You want to end your life? Think there’s no hope, and you have nothing to live for? READ THIS…. Email me if you think differently , or just talk to me because I CARE , wether you believe it or not ♥
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever […]